Are are you making meetings? Do you pray to your higher power? What were the things that got you to stay sober in the first place? Perhaps those are the things you need to be doing. Getting sober and staying sober are one in the same. We as alchies must work for our sobriety. Anything in life worth having takes work. Just like your education. School is f'ing hard, if it were easy they 40 year old serving you fries with your burger would have a degree as will. BTW, restless, irritable, and discontent are exactly the symptons of a dry drunk. Serenity?? It is there, but you will need to get back what you once had.

To me, serenity is being at peace with the world and others. It's something that I struggle with at times, but with the help of God I find it easier to do. I need to continually feed my sprit so that I can stay strong in this crazy world and find some meaning in life. If I'm strugling with something, I'm usually trying to get something more than what I need. I have a choice. To keep struggling or to try and just accept it and do the best I can. I don't have the same ideas, and expectations that I used to have. I've learned that my serenity is more important than anything. If it means turning down high paying jobs, that may drive me crazy anyway. Then that's what I need to do. Happiness, and peace are something you can't buy. It sometimes comes from the very simple things in life. The world is a crazy place that I don't look for my happiness or peace from. That comes from within, and my acceptance of what God has given me now. I don't have much, but I do have serenity today. You can too. Mayby nows the time to refocus, and step away from the world, and find what it is that your spirit is hungry for and feed it. All the best. James

it's kinda like being the eye part of a hurricane
it's being at peace despite the pain
the thought that all will be well somewhere in the brain
the steel of the boiler that contains the steam of a train

My life became more simple and I got more serenity after I took a good look at my values and set some goals. By setting just a few, clear cut goals, all decisions were made more easily. I would ask myself one question. Which of the options which were before me would lead me toward my goals. If an option did not lead toward a goal, I would just say, "No thank you." During the first three years my highest priority was to be sober the AA way. I also had to do wehat ever it took to generate essential levels of income. I did my best to keep my life simple.

With your children, your life will not be easy or simple for quite a few years. However, I would suggest you keep working to make soberiety your number one goal. For me, things always got worse when I drank. I just took a long long time to realize that.

Good luck.

You know we sometimes forget to enjoy the many many things that we take for granted, like being able to take a walk, being able to see the beauty all around us, the noises we hear, but don't pay attention to, lke the birds singing or a person with a kind word. All these little thaings add up to life and if we don't pay attention to them life is slipping us by.

I know what you mean, on some days my peace of mind is a distant memory and it feels like I will never get it back. You will. Life is like a wave, we go through the good and bad, have to ride it and do our best. I think the one huge thing that we alkis have a problem with is uncomfortable feelings. We dont feel great and want to fix it immediately instead of ride it out-live through it and get to the otherside. FDont fear your negative emotions, they are a part of what makes us human. Sometimes we just have to ride out the storm and have faith that it will get better. And of course be good to yourself along the way. Anyone who tells you that life is not good if it is not all happiness and roses is delirious in my humble opinion.

helping others is a great way to get some good feelings going. Serenity means to me bieng Unruffled. Everthing rubed me the wrong way, so I needed more than acceptance , I needed t make peace, surender if you will, my will. The word smoothed out, the sun shone and life became pretty much clear sailing. The odd squall comes along but I can ride it out.

when i go through a time like that, and i've been going thru a time like that for about 6 months, i think i'm finally starting to come out of that, i turned to page 449 in the big book (3rd ed). the story is "doctor, alcoholic, addict". it's called "acceptance was the answer" in the 4th edition. and it's probably the story easiest for me to relate to in the entire big book, and i haven't read it just once. i think i've been thru the big book 5 different times. the part that reads "my serentiy is inversely proportional to my level of expectation. The higher my expectations, the lower my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when i discard my expectations." i just started reading the big book again recently after, as i said, 6 months of thinking i can run my own life and do everything for myself and nothing or nobody else can help me. DON'T BELIEVE IT! me? i need people....whether i like it or not. meetings are also a very good idea. i started those again, too....as much as i didn't want to...because i always have this feeling people, especially people who are still there from when i was there before, are going to judge me and think you themselves or ask each other "gee, i wonder how long she'll stick around this time before she thinks she's all that and better than the rest of us". yes, my mind goes into crazy directions. the worst place for me to be alone is the inside of my head. i don't know much, but i hope this helped a little.

For me the serenity prayer comes into play alot when I lose my serenity. Accept the things I can not change ( which is most everything), courage to change the things I can ( the only thing I can change is ME, and the courage to know the differance. Stay in today, and life is manageable

Are you working the steps? I found that I have to continue working them on a daily basis to stay sober and at peace with myself and my life.

Serenity is having an inner calm in the midst of lifes up and downs. It involves learning to be content with the things in our life that cannot be changed.
Some of us would rather live in denial, and medicate to deal with these pains, therefore never having serenity.
Recovery is learning how to find peace of mind while accepting life as the way it is. Life is unfair, uncontrolable and unpredictable. When we become willing to face the hurt in our life and comsider how we have reacted to it, then our discomfort can lead us to break the destructive cycle. Then we can learn to be content with the things we cannot change.

Wisdom from a few different books,, thanks for letting me share.

I have learned that there's a big difference between being sober and not drinking.I felt some of those feelings of being overwhelmed by life and losing what little peace of mind I had.It happened in the first year,sometimes I would be ok with things,then I would be a wreck.I think it's part of the growing process.I found peace of mind from the AA Program and learned a lot of good stuff right here.Those who have been there can always help those who are in there.

I can tell you I have given a lot of thought about being a "dry drunk", and I understand it better now. I would have to say from my experience, abstinence is not enough. To me, my alcoholism came from chronic abuse that was a symptom. There were other medical/mental things I need to work on. A mom of four, that's a big job! Good luck to you.

As usual, all of you people have come through for me during these trying times... you guys are all so great. I really do feel so much better after i read the replies. I know what i need to do to get better, it's just a matter of pushing myself and taking a stand for what i believe in. I will continue battling life, soberly because i made it this far and i will not surrender to the hard times. Life really can throw me for a loop sometimes, but when the going gets tough... the tough gets going...and i made it through ~~ whew~~ :)

What are you ACTUALLY doing to maintain your sobriety??

You say that you have to battle life - why?? Life is not a battle although the things that it throws at us can be hard.

Life is not something to be battled or endured it is to be lived, when spiritual principles are practiced we tend to be able to match calamity with serenity.