low bottom .when you fall on your ass after you drink,high bottom when you fall and hit you head after drinking.

Meant to say... I am only 21 days sober. I believe this time is different. I pray this time I can hold onto it.

My point in posting...
I kept telling myself I could go back out because I hadn't hit "rock bottom". I can't keep going out. I had to stop. I had to force myself to come to terms with it. I think it's possible to get better without a rock bottom.

I used to say the bottom came up for me. It took 1 DUI (which I plead down to a "wet and reckless"), loosing my job and a $17,000 a year promotion, loosing my apartment and cat, and a court oder to AA to get me to quit drinking.

But here I am, 27 months since incidents, 26 months sober, and I am still unable to get a decent job, or get a head at all.

All I know is that despite my trials and tribulations, I am a great full alcoholic and today I lead a sober life.

Hay,, Today is my 30 day chip day,what a day to get my 30 day chip,,,,hang in there,,,ok
Only problem no chips up here......

Really longbow? 30 days? Congrats! That's a big milestone!

I was pretty much a functioning addict too but sometimes not. But nonetheless, i hit rock bottom too - a major reality check - of what could be (at that time) if i didn't stop.

Life didn't improve much as far as material things and miraculous things, and it seemed i kept on a downward spiral living in hell from the decisions i made while using - i lived the consequences of my actions and still do - it's just recently - even after being sober many years that my life has found peace -

Rock bottom for me was probably a high bottom as I was still functioning but it wouldn't have taken much more for it to be a low bottom -

YES 30 DAYS,,WOW

HTL -
Like the old joke - the first step in getting out of a hole is to stop digging. That is the bottom.
When we put the shovel away for the last time.
When we finally look in the mirror, cringe at the wretch portrayed and say "God - please help me"
When we finally get sick and tired of being sick and tired.
When my wife of 29 years finally told me to either stop drinking or go die somewhere else.
When it was easier to give up than take another drink.
When I drank all day and felt no different.
When I drank 2 beers the next day and passed out.
When my liquid god failed me.
That was my bottom.
Far enough to quit digging...
Hugs,
Dennis

I don't consider mine to be low or high. My situation was just as it was and it was bad enough for me.

The important thing for me is that the point I had to reach to be ready for help was an internal thing not an external thing. It was reaching a point where i had lost myself, was suicidal, unable to connect with anything, unable to find a point to life, dead inside. A point where I had to change or die.

Things can look very different inside than they do outside and I think comparing outsides can sometimes give a very false picture. I would have told you - if this happens I will stop drinking, if I lose that I will stop drinking but by the time those things began to happen or be lost i had lost the ability to care.

For me the bottom is not about jobs, houses, relationships, money, possessions, dui's etc. These things have an impact on our internal condition but it is really that internal condition that brings us to recovery IMO. It is not being able to carry on with the way we feel regardless of what our external situation looks like.

"The first step in getting out of a hole is to stop digging. That is the bottom."

Thanks Dennis. I'll have to use that one later. :)

Hhhmmm interesting question.

As much as I like thinking about issues, I do like you and don't mean to be "picking a fight" or anything silly.
I just want to talk. High and Low labels bother me.Unfortunately it is just part of our caste system.
High bottom still separates from low bottom. That's those fancy butt Rehabs at 20k a month.

I unfortunately have felt that separation....and indeed tried to "clean" my story up at first because of the group .

It certainly might be in my head.......LOL

but it's like I'm better than you I never got that low....or never used drugs.
I don't know.... does holding on to your stuff _ high bottom....no DUI? high or low

food for though
luv you girl

Anna, when I think of all the things (all the 'yets' to come) I know I could have hit harder rocks than what I really did. It's still my bottom though, because it was what shook me sober...all the things that did happen. All the things yet to come without a doubt. I got off easy. I took the easy way out...and got Sober! (o;

I guess I'm called a high bottom drunk.

I totally know what you are saying ML. It's something I have pondered a lot. I found it discouraging, believe it or not, to be told that I hadn't hit rock bottom and couldn't get sober until I had.

I felt separation too. It might sound crazy, but I sometimes felt like I was NOT deserving of the same help because I didn't get "as bad" as some of the others whose stories I heard. It was a major road block for me when I first started trying to get sober. I would go to meetings and think, "I am not bad enough yet. I can keep drinking." Thing is, when I started another binge, I never knew if I was going to live through it or not. I was scared shitless with my "ambition" to self destruct every time I drank. I felt almost suicidal about it even though I really did not want to die - when I was sober anyway.

I don't feel any better than someone who has lost more. I relate. My favorite meetings are at the work release dorm with the women prisoners. THEY are the ones I relate to best from an emotional standpoint. Hard to explain.

I don't know why I didn't get worse than I did or lose more, but I was headed in that direction. Hell, I used to fantasize not having anything but my booze, cigarettes, and privacy to just drink and drink and drink. There were times I wished my husband would leave me because he interfered with my drinking. I even thought about "running away" to live somewhere where no one knew me and I could just drink "Leavin Las Vegas" style.

I get it. A friend kept telling me that I may never feel "ready" to stop. Another friend urged me to take the steps and be WILLING. These things, combined with my fear of death and trust in those people who said life could be different is what has helped me most.

Love you too ML ;) ...great food for thought.

Bubz... "I took the easy way out." ...I love that.

and

"all the things that did happen" ...exactly what got me sober.

And for the record you were the friend I was referring to that told me I might never feel "ready".

Thanks girly. Love yous.

Sometimes HTL, your low-bottom may be evident more from those friends who you ignore when they have stood by you in the worst of times than from your financial situation and if you are fooling the courts, the employer and all the rest of the material sides of life.

I consider when I ignore those who stood by me, and accepted my insane drunken phone calls during my darkest times to be when I've hit rock bottom. You might want to rethink your post and to whom you are thanking to who stood by you in the worst of times;;;;