Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I popped the question... Got me a new sponsor.
Say what you want. Something is happening. I prayed on it. Too many coincidences. I am moved. I am only cracking the door. Something else is pulling me through despite my reluctance.
I have wanted to drink every day this week. On and off obsession. I came dangerously close to picking up. I don't want to go back there and yet I still want to drink.
I am terrified to speak of things like miracles and higher powers because I am afraid I will fail anyway. I was afraid to get a sponsor because I thought I'd drink anyway. I am afraid to share because what if I relapse and am just a fraud? I have been afraid to do the steps because what if I STILL want to drink. What if I do my best and don't "get it" anyway.
Is what it is. Afraid or not, all I can do is what feels like the next correct thing.
Say what you want. Something is happening. I prayed on it. Too many coincidences. I am moved. I am only cracking the door. Something else is pulling me through despite my reluctance.
I have wanted to drink every day this week. On and off obsession. I came dangerously close to picking up. I don't want to go back there and yet I still want to drink.
I am terrified to speak of things like miracles and higher powers because I am afraid I will fail anyway. I was afraid to get a sponsor because I thought I'd drink anyway. I am afraid to share because what if I relapse and am just a fraud? I have been afraid to do the steps because what if I STILL want to drink. What if I do my best and don't "get it" anyway.
Is what it is. Afraid or not, all I can do is what feels like the next correct thing.
I know these thoughts pass as quickly as they come now, used they would linger for days - now they are just fleeting thoughts that i most of the time chuckle over.
Whatever it takes for you to not act on the thought is what you need to do. Don't worry about failure - we all make mistakes - you keep those thoughts in your mind you are just planting a negative garden - for more to grow - tell yourself that Failure is Not An Option - and with each day that you don't drink, you've not failed.
your gonna be fine my friend - feel thoughts, and then kick their butt!
Peace!
The great thing.....you don't have to have all the answers here. You just keep putting in the action and your HP does the worrying.
I know the urge is there, but the great thing about recovery is that we no longer need to immediately act on our first thought, or our urges. I was told in early recovery, "God is in the pauses". I had no idea what it meant the first time I heard it, but to learn that if we have an urge, any urge, firstly drinking and then anything in life like jumping in someone else's business, like family, or any other destructive behaviour, we can learn to NOT immediately act. And in that pause, we can find and learn to find all sorts of more healthy and constructive coping mechanisms - which is what drinking is, and coping mechanism.
Staying sober is not just a One Day at Time proposition, it can be a one hour at a time, one half day at a time, one minute at a time proposition. Break it right down when you have the urge, to taking any period at a time that is necessary to have that pause and for the urge to pass.
Also, avail yourself, like you are of a sponsor and CALL THEM. And also, I found it really helpful to take numbers of people who are really 12 step focussed and continuing to be proactively working their program for however long they have been sober, and also call them. That enables you to have a fall-back position if your sponsor is unavailble when you need them. It also gives you a wider cross section of experiences and strategies.
You're doing great Olive.
You are being very pro active and that is what you need to do, but also try working the steps, just in working them it helps. There are NO guarantees in life but willingness and acceptance go a very long way in staying sober. hugs d
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAQf1uAHaXM
From How it Works, The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
Your name is Anna, not "rarely".....It was suggested to me to jump INTO AA like I drank....with a passion. Go for it! That first sentence is a promise. and I promise this program will work if you take action just like the book suggests. Congrats on getting yourself a sponsor. It works it really does!
Rick mentioned stepping out of your comfort zone. Exactly what I talked about last night at my meeting. I needed to do that. It's important for me to do things differently this time.
Love ya. xo
~Chris
Hell, last Thursday on the way home from work, listening to "Margaritaville" put me in a fantasy land of beaches & margaritas and I wanted to drink too. I think it hits from time to time, the difference is how we react. I talked myself through it and remembered why I can't do that and the moment passed and I'm still sober.
I learned those skills through my sponsor & the steps.....
You recognize the signs and know the time is right, rock on sister! That's awesome...go with the flow baby. :)