Only when the drinking was more painful than getting sober did I even want to quit. My wife just stopped doing anything for me and would not ever say a thing. Because if she said anything my brain would intentionally do the opposite.

Check out the. Wives of alcoholic. Forum. The people there can relate and offer good network of support

Feel free to post away here anytime as well.

The thing is you gotta not enable. And honestly this is a disease in my eyes. I had to find treatment and relearn ways to cope with life. I found a way to live happy and sober in aa. Good friends and some principles to live life by. See I was addicted to the drug, alcohol. It worked VERY well to let me escape all the problems of life. Thing was it piled more problems on the top of my hangover

It is possible, but nothing in the world will work until there is a inner willingness to want to quit. That's the trick

Is2many

Even if there are no AlaNon meetings in your area, you are welcome to attend OPEN AA meetings.

Thank you for your advice. It helps that you see it from a male perspective, though I'm sure the symptoms are similar regardless. He knows he has a problem but he thinks he can solve it without help. Could you provide a link to this Wives Forum? Is it on this website?

Here is the URL for the group -- if the link doesn't work, copy and paste the link into your browser:
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/wives-of-alcoholics

I solved my own drinking problem years ago. Now I am dealing with a husband who is an alcoholic. It's a struggle for him and for us. You can't force him to quit, but you also shouldn't have to put up with his drunken behavior. Not easy -- you have my sympathy and support.

Thank you Jerseygirl!!

The way my wife helped me was by kicking me out when I was drunk one afternoon. I would not leave so she called the police who gave me a choice of detox or jail so I picked detox. As harsh as that was, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. From detox, I was refered to an IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program which every hospital has) which was 3 weeks in length. After the IOP, I was refered to additional aftercare in the form of relapse prevention group counseling. Throughout all the treatment I had, regular attendance at AA meetings were mandatory.

That was 8 years ago. Today, I have a great life, I live my life by the 12 steps and I have never been happier!

I will keep you and you husband in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless

Congrats and thank you bobbin mains. Wishing you continued success.

That's too bad. Unfortunately it's a common problem and I've recently found out that subconsciously we try to find a husband who resembles our father. You can read this instructive article with thw problem of the same character https://gettingclose.net/brides-of-alcoholics

My dad was an alcoholic and I never thought I'd become one. It happened. Unfortunately, he has to want to quit. There's a section in the big book, found online that is called "To Wives". Check it out. Glad you came here!

Believe it or not, the best way to help him is to find an Al-Anon meeting. The fact that you are trying to control his drinking by not "allowing" him to go out doesn't seem to be working. In Al-Anon, you are encouraged to live and enjoy your own life rather than centering around the alcoholic. He will not sober up if and until he is ready. In this situation I would say "run for the hills". In Al-Anon, there's a plaque that reads "I didn't cause it, can't cure it and can't control it".

It's especially important if you have kids to do what's in their best interest. Best wishes, Dianna