I was that way just a few 24 hrs ago. I would hide

There is a wives of alcoholics. Page in ds.

Also there are closed rooms of al-anon. People who will understand and relate and help you cope

Sorry your hubs is a boozer , he is sick and there is help

I will pray for both u

1-2

I hate to say it, but you probably aren't paranoid and he is drinking more than you realize and lying about it.

Here is the link to the group 1is2 mentioned:
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/wives-of-alcoholics

Sounds like classic alcoholic behavior. I am sorry for your situation. For me and my husband, there has been a lot of push and pull. He has coped with me in the past by trying to control me completely. That, sadly has resulted in my resentment and drove me into drinking more and more to escape it all.

He needs help. You do too. Remember, you can establish boundaries with him. You can let him know you don't buy his lies anymore and that you are going to get help and hope he seeks it as well.

I Am thankful that you recognize your potential predisposition to abuse alcohol. My stepdaughter has seen that she has it as well and has learned to confine it to the social aspect, more or less. She cerainly hasn't gone off and running like I do after a drink or two!
Its no consolation but there is someething worse than 1 alcoholic in a household and thats two of them living together under the same roof. I know because my wife and I are both. However, have been the one to seek help from others who were where I was, my wife has not.
The good thing is that although my wife peroidically has relapsed she has been collectively putting together more sobriety time together over the past 3 years I do know how it feels to feel frustrated and dissapoilnted that your spouse is drinking. I know exactly how it feels
I am glad you are reaching out for help. Sometimes that is half the battle. Hope it all works out for both of you.

Thank you to each who have taken the time to respond to my post. I joined this group needing someone to talk to, and you are generous to give me such support.

Hello Nannette Fultonovich,

Your husband may have lost the ability to choose whether to drink or not and consequently he will do whatever it takes to get a drink. That is difficult for most people to understand as they believe that since their own drinking is a matter of choice it should be likewise for others.

Two things differentiate an alcoholic from a normal or social drinker. The first difference is that for the alcoholic, drinking has become an obsession. Hiding alcohol around the house, denying that hes been drinking, having a beer on the table as a cover-up for drinking etc. are typical actions of someone who has an obsession for alcohol.

The second difference is that when an alcoholic takes a drink he will immediately develop a craving for more and no matter how much he drinks it will not be enough. For that reason it will be necessary to have access to more alcohol, whether by going to a bar or hiding it around the house.

I doubt if the problem with your husbands drinking is caused by the blood-pressure medication. It is more likely that because of the above mental obsession and physical craving he no longer has a choice about drinking. His only option is to quit drinking entirely and he may need support in order to do that, something that he does have a choice over. If he chooses to keep drinking his condition is likely to get gradually worse and I can tell you that from my own experience. He may be confused and afraid as someone in that position often cannot see any way out. However, there is a way in which he can reclaim his freedom and go on to live a normal life.

You can point your husband in the direction of AA but whether or not he gets sober is up to himself. What you can do is to look after your own health and well-being. Forums for the spouses of alcoholics will be a help but it would be wise to also check out Al-Anon meetings in your area.

I came here today for the first time. found the page just as you did. feeling hopeless. i have been married for 22 yrs. I just cant take another day. Every day is another battle. I feel that I am at a breaking point with nowhere to turn. I would leave if i could financially do so. but thats not an option now. i hope that in knowing people like you it will help me through the days.

I strongly recommend al anon meetings where you will meet others like you who are suffering from an addict's or alcoholics addiction. You will be able to identify with others who are in the same situation as you are and you will learn how to live your life and be happy despite their love of the bottle over you!

I did not get help for my own drinking problem until my wife kicked me out of the house when she came home one day and the dinner I was suppose to be watching for her was on fire and smoking up the house because I blacked out after drinking jack some danials.

I would not leave so she called the cops and when they came knocking at my door, I realized this was serious business! It was no more games for me! I was given my choice of jail or detox and it was an easy decision to make.

I spent 4 days in detox followed by a 3 week IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) followed by 3 months of group counseling. Throughout all of it AA meetings were a requirement and I still attend them today.

That was 7 years ago. Today I live my life by the 12 steps and I have never been happier!

I never, ever want to put my wife through the crap I put her through during my drinking days! The families suffer the worse which is why they often call addiction, a family disease! You see what alcohol is doing to him, but look at what his drinking is doing to YOU!

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers,

God Bless!