Ignore the naysayers and stick with your plan.

When I was drinking the thought was the next one will be the one that makes me feel just right. It was never the first one or even the one I was drinking. I couldn't finish the one I was on fast enough to get to the next one. It was a nightmare.

Today I just don't have the first one. Sure I dream of a fruity drink on the beach, or a pint in a Irish pub, or a sake at a Japanese rest, or a marg at a Mexican place. But the alcoholic in me. ( I am an alcoholic, and booze effects me differently ) cannot moderate.

I tried and failed too many times to count. I found that moderation actually was more uncomfortable that abstinence. I was miserable.

Now fast fwd to today, if I just keep my head in the right place and don't have the first one then the vicious cycle does not start.

The cycle went crave, drink, remorse, drink, crave, guilt, crave, drink, hate myself, crave, drink, want to kill myself, shame, drink, hate, crave, beat myself up, drink, etc.

Break the chain. I was whipped and the only way was to stop was to not start. At least for this alcoholic, that's all I found to work

1is2many

I would ignor those who would encourage you to drink. MM may not be the suitable answer for you. I would feel that initial "Ahhhhh" and spend the rest of the night chasing it to get it back. I never tried MM. I once spent a weekend not drinking just to prove to myself I wasn't an alcoholic. And off I went....

I wasted many years chasing that feeling of just being "ok" but just ended up like 1istoomany. Feelings of shame, guilt and remorse. I sobered up out of desperation. That is what got me into AA. I haven't look back since.

Also, when I sobered up I had to learn how to cook all over again because I had been drinking so long I thought I needed a drink in my hand to do it. Baloney!

Whatever you decide, I wish you well.

Fantastic plan... sounds familiar and gods I wished it worked for me. Alas it did not. It's like finding a new way to beat your head against a wall. Moderation is not possible for someone who needs help.

I have no desire to try to drink moderately. I would spend WAY too much time thinking about it. "Can I have a drink tonight? What should I have? Should I have another one now or wait? If I add a little more wine to my glass, that doesn't count, does it?"

And to what end? Before too long two drinks would become three. And if I am going to have three, then what's the big deal about having a fourth? Plus, if it is okay to drink Friday, Saturday and Sunday, then why not wine if I go out to eat on Thursday?

No, I'd be back in drinking hell in no time.

I think it is much easier to just say, "I'm done." No internal debate, no rules that I will eventually break.

But that is me... I could not do what you are attempting, not would I want to.

IMO, I truly think that you are playing with fire and are on a thin line to crossing over to end up where you started. 2 drinks is just a teaser. Earlier you mentioned taking a shot. Taking a shot means your are looking to get buzzed. Again, folks that don't have issues with alcohol do not think like you. They have a drink or 2 and call it a day, take it or leave it. I mean no disrespect to you.

Like everyone else I wish you well It's useful to remember how I spent many years trying to moderate I just identify with the majority who have tried and thankfully realised it was never ever going to work for me once I have one drink then I am powerless over how many I will have Sure there were many times I didn't drink to full intoxication pated myself on the back Then the next session Bang drunk to blackout oops off again And that's without getting back into the mental obsession When can I start 5 pm 7pm etc waking up same question How long do I have to fight it off Just for today no physical or mental obsession and I'm so very thankful for that

I have tried this and was able to do it a couple times a long time ago, but then I found it did not help with my obsessive thoughts about alcohol.

I just continuously thought about the next time I would get to have 2 glasses of wine.

My goal is to not think about it anymore, so I had to completely eliminate it. I felt that it was still controlling me.

Hi Needhelp4

There is a group called HAMS: Harm Reduction for Alcohol http://www.hamsnetwork.org/ that you might want to take a look at. It is more open to the spectrum of people seeking total abstinence to moderation. It is completely acceptable and commendable to set self directed goals with respect to one's drinking.

To reply number 6 . Here's one of Moderation Management's real "success stories"
A few years back a woman who taught controlled drinking to alcoholics" . She wound up killing someone in a DUI accident with a BAL of .25

Actually donttread... Her name was Audry Kishline and she was in AA at the time of the crash.

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1988&dat=20000812&id=BYYyAAAAIBAJ&sjid=m6wFAAAAIBAJ&pg=4398,3394657

The accident was in March. She founded the MM movement. She had been in AA, obviously not having done any work on herself, in Jan.

I feel so sad that you continue to malign an organization that has saved so many lives. Sad for people reaching out for real help in stopping drinking.

I never knew an alcoholic who could drink in morderation

Malign?

The truth is maligning?

I notice you don't have a thing to say about those who choose to "malign" moderation Management.