I had 3 weeks of sobriety until last night. I had quit my job at a restaurant, because it was killing my body and my mental state was constantly cranky and frustrated. You know when you are working a job you hate because its all you think you are worthy of? I finally decided I was going to quit and just look for a job I actually wanted to do, regardless of how menial or "OMG...you work THERE?" it was to people. I found a supervising custodial/maintenance position at an indoor entertainment park. Great schedule and everyone is really nice to work with. And I can basically do what I want all day, as long as certain tasks are accomplished by end of shift. So, for the last 3 weeks I've been feeling absolutely awesome and coming home to my wife in a great mood, instead of needing to drink and decompress for a bit in silence. Then, on Saturday my grandfather died while I was at work and graciously my mother waited until Sunday to tell me so I wouldn't spaz out at work. And then on Monday my wifes dad had a stroke while driving and slammed into a tree. She left yesterday to go up and see him in the hospital. He's on life support and doesn't have much longer. So, the stress of all that and my wife not being home, I went out to a hole in the wall bar that has cheap liquor. I blacked out and woke up at the expensive bar. Thankfully I only bought one drink and left. Blacked out again and woke up this morning with 20 return texts from people I never talk to. I feel like a failure. Because I've tried to quit before and always leave myself some "well if this happens I can drink a few drinks...I'll be fine" kind of thing. This time I was really trying to start over, new job, new me, no drinking. Im just disappointed in myself and needed to let it out. Day 1. Again.
Hi I'm need to this. How active is everyone in the group? I don't see much activity the couple times I've been on.
I was addicted to Prozac Ativan and Xanny and wrote about it ie im a rolling stone .. baby stuff ironically I hit I'm lik a therapy addict my dr says it's lik im worse when I'm fendin healthy in a way.. I've found that Abilify is really strong.. and as an adverse effect my brother freakin hates that song and was dragged in a stretcher lik the freakin foster the people video I hate lik digital...