I saw my doctor and my liver enzymes are still 3 times normal. Plus my cholesterol is through the roof and I'm now on 2 different cholesterol tablets. I also saw my psychiatrist who think my friend with benefits is causing my drinking. So as of yesterday we are now just friends without benefits. So I'm feeling a lot calmer. No need to race out to the pub before I see him anymore. Hopefully this big change with my friend will give me the kick start I need to put the plug in the jug once and for all.

Detoxing with valium? Now that's a new one. Valium, Librium, Xanax are all eating whiskey. You need a detox that doesn't involve any more drugs. Cause you are just trading one crutch for another. Go to a detox center. you have got to be willing to completely let go of the controls over your life. I hope you can find a good meeting and a good sponsor but get there asap. Do you have an AAmeeting that stays open 24 hr /day. In the beginning when I got sober many years ago. Drunks could sit up there all day. Making coffee, helping to clean the rooms etc. We have got to get busy and get outside ourselves. Good Luck and God Bless your.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PivWY9wn5ps

I know you are a chick, but some times you just gotta look in the mirror
and make that change

The only way I could get sober was to get busy. See when I am in motion, I dont have the desire. The program of aa helped me to have accountability, also to find a bunch of new sober friends.

You gotta make that change.

1is2many

You can change the world

That's awesome! One day at a time, I know its clich but true! This is a great place for support so keep coming back and posting letting us know how you're doing. AA is a great group as well, highly encourage going to those. I agree with some of the other posts, focus on you and not what others think of you. The most important opinion of who you are and what you can accomplish is YOURS and yours alone.

1is2 - that is very true about keeping busy. When I am on my laptop the last thing I want is a drink. I could be on fom 6pm until 10pm and not have anything as I am too engrossed in what I am doing.
G.

I agree about the 'keeping busy' part. Two jobs, a fixer-upper house, hobbies...... If you are not sitting around feeling miserable about your problems, that is a big help!

Hello sweetchick,
I can relate to what you have posted but I think you may need to shift your focus. For That you should Start Meditation or take the Advice From The Alcohol detoxification expert http://www.recoverycnt.com/

Hi sweet. My name is Dianna and I'm an RN. I worked in chemical dependency for 10 yrs. Although it would be ideal if you were in a medically supervised hospital to detox, I understand why the Dr gave you valium.

Alcohol detox can be fatal. We administered benzo's to keep the delirium tremens (that can cause seizures and/or cardiac collapse), at bay. Valium is what is given (usually by injection) to stop seizures. Or in your case, most likely, to prevent seizures. Librium, which is a benzo, is the drug of choice for detox.

You have the right attitude. You are using it sparingly. By the time you read this, you should no longer be taking it. Best of luck. Sincerely, another recovered alcoholic.

I was in detox at the hospital for 4 days and I was given librium, once or twice and since I was feeling pretty bad at the time, I thought they had given me a wonder drug. It made me feel soooooo calm and content!

If they had given me a prescription to take home with me, I would definitely have abused it. I can still remember the magic feeling it gave me. Now I sound like I am romancing benzos....

Have to be so careful with that stuff sweety....just sayin!

God Bless!

I went to 2 AA meetings the last 2 days after being inspired by you people on here. The first was great, felt like a confession when I shared. The second was wierd with people talking about steps 4 and 5 and God's will. I'm pretty put off by the God thing as I don't believe in a deity that intervenes. I feel like this will hinder my progress in AA but it seems to be the only option out there in my city. Do you have to do the steps? People were talking about character defects and I'm not a rude or aggressive person and couldn't really relate. I will still keep going though as just being around other alcoholics definitely helps.

I still have some reservations about the God thing but the thing is to find a higher power greater than myself. I believe that my sponsor believes. Period. That's really about as far as I get. The thing as an alcoholic I'm stubborn. I have come to realize that plays into my desire to drink so hard. Basically fear that it will be over when it's over.

And my character defects are my Ego, and selfcenteredness, fear, envy, and vindictiveness. It's not that we get rid of them , it's just that I recognize them, and work to be better. By becoming better the desire to drink has diminished a lot.

I mainly found new friends. I don't see my old bar buddies and I'm ok with that. Also I draw strength in the fact that there is hope for me. I was a hopeless drunk and somehow I'm not anymore. I even quit smoking after about 4 months. I respect myself

I also found out how important it was to help others. It overcomes my selfish tenancies.

To have self Esteem, one must do Esteemable acts.

Good luck in the journey
1is2many