Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Is suffering a choice?

Taradactyl
Taradactyl
Suffering becomes a part of us. It is familiar. It is "'normal". It fills a hole. It is denial. It becomes a "reason" to be unhappy and even a "reason" to drink. Excuses. If we remove the suffering, then what?

Happiness does NOT just fall upon us. We must create it. We must nurture our healthy self and UNlearn old negative thought patterns.

It is easier to NOT move than it is to move.
It is easier to NOT think than it is to think.
It is easier to REMAIN than it is to change.

It is easier to run in circles, suffering and all, than it is to take a leap of faith and run in the direction of some unknown that might even be HAPPINESS.

I have just caught a glimpse of some freedom...

How hard can it be to choose NOT to suffer?

How hard can it be to JUST LET GO of the past?
Community LeaderExJerseyGirl2
ExJerseyGirl2
I've been talking to a lot of people lately who are suffering. They are depressed and many have anxiety, some so severe that they hardly leave their house for fear of having a panic attack.

I don't think ANY of them are choosing this.

They range from being detached and withdrawn to being in real anguish. In many cases their friends and relatives are telling them they are blowing the situation out of proportion, just get over it, you can be happy if you choose to.

I just can't believe the stuff I am reading here. Let's just tell depressed people to get over themselves -- that works, right? Well, unless they have a chemical imbalance, then it's okay, you have a pass.

Whatever.
LornaR
LornaR
Suffering is a given. Life is filled with pain. Pretending it's a choice and I am a failure when I suffer can be a dangerous occupation. We don't have to be alone in our suffering. We have each other, and when someone has suffered enough times in life they can become filled with compassion. There is self imposed suffering and perhaps that is a choice, and then there is the real deal, the unavoidable, the pain so intense and disturbing, and for that I am grateful to be a part of a fellowship of men and women who aren't afraid to be there with each other through the reality of pain and suffering. I've experienced it and I love AA even more.
deleted_user
deleted_user
HTL, I hear you when you say "hide when you're hurting." You called me on it today. You knew.

That's the beauty of letting people get to know us, letting people in. We talked. I laughed. It totally turned my day around.

Talking to another alcoholic makes a difference for me. I can talk to my boss openly about the same stuff because she knows I'm in AA. BUT... she does not have this disease and cannot relate the way another alcoholic would.

So... thanks for the post and thanks for the chat!

Love ya tons.
~Chris
deleted_user
deleted_user
For a while I got pissed when my sponsor always asked:
" what step ya working"
I understand that now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Old saw I heard regarding recovery, pain, change and suffering: "Pain is mandatory, but suffering is optional."
The only time I'm really willing to change is when the pain of staying the same is less than the pain of change. So I get to work through it and make the change as smoothly as possible. Or I can choose to sit and suffer and spread some of my pain and suffering to others.
Today I know to work through my dis-ease and not let others suffer because of my pain...
Hugs,
Dennis
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't think all suffering is a choice but why make it any worse by adding to it right!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am reminded of the maxim "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"
This discludes mental illness. One of my big problems was I would blow things out of proportion and use the suffering as a crutch to try and blame others for MY mostly selfmade problems. Dealing with problems is a pain, but making myself suffer with them had to end.
deleted_user
deleted_user
No one would consciously choose pain.

We suffer because we are walking around without a clue of what we are doing or who we are.
SkyBiscuit
SkyBiscuit
We are surrounded with "things" that bring us instant gratification. Cell phones, computers, fast cars, drive through fast food,....We want it fast, we want it now and we don't want to wait!
Alcohol (and for me drugs) is thrust in your hand when you're happy or sad, suffering or celebratory......and on and on. It works fast. And I was/am always there with my hand out.
Now I want instantly to not have this addiction too. So I suffer because it's not coming fast enough. Nothing like a drink to ease the suffering.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I used to be a whiner and compllainer. I would also go back and forth between playing the victim and feeling guilt ridden about being better off than someone who was more "oppressed" than I. Suffering is inevitable in life, but there's no reason to make yourself even more miserable by your own attitude, and it certainly doesn't help your sobriety to stay stuck in that mode. So I'm learning to ease up more.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Nice post Olive...thanks for the reminder. Alcohol hid the happy person I believe myself to be....its good to "feel" good isn't it!
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I have chronic pain and I offer up all of my pain to my Higher Power nd I seldom have anything worse no the what an Ibprofen can't take care of...


Peace
deleted_user
deleted_user
Every time we lie, steal, cheat, gossip, or knowingly hurt others in any way, we will feel that wrong doing within us in some form of suffering. The mind becomes agitated when we act against others.

The call for right action by Buddhists is not to be taken lightly.

http://www.zencast.org/index.php?post_id=173140
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't think suffering is a choice. I think my God allows it so that I may learn or trial to make myself or my environment a better place.

My thoughts sometimes have to be retrained as to not think in a "human" way...... but instead, a Godly way.

I have had to learn that everything around me close and personal and in the past is not in my control. Sometimes it's "man's" control.... and then it may be God's.

Sometimes it's my control that takes over.

I think humility will save us all.
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