Been there. Done that. Drank..........over and over and over and over Over and over and over and over Over and over and over and over Over and over and over and over Over and over and over and over Over and over and over and over and over again...........Then I was given the gift of desperation. Then AA. Today I don't drink. I earned my seat in AA and wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. Why try to figure it out on your own when there are millions who have found a solution and are eager to share it with you?

I didn't mean to imply that my atheism had anything to do with why I do not want to go to AA.

You're probably right that I will fail on my own.

I live in a small town in Colorado. My former boss is in AA. He resigned three weeks ago. When I contacted him to let him know he left some personal items in the storage room he told me not to contact him or his family. Odd because I'd never contacted his family other than to remind his children that it was his birthday. If I go to an AA meeting I will see him and I don't want to see him.

Having a major mood swing now. Sitting at my desk crying.

It's gonna be ok. The emotions are normal and actually a good sign. My brain was so used to functioning with alcohol that it took a while to figure out how to function without it. The tears, anger etc.. are part of the reprogramming of your brain. This is why the first 30 days is a challenge. Good news though...you don't need to do 30 days. Just today. Just know that things get really good if you hang on through the emotional circus of the first several weeks. I really do think you could benefit from reading the stories in the last part of the Big Book. You might find some hope and comfort like I did. Hang in there. It's worth the struggle.

The irony is that by going to a group I have worked on the issues I had/have with anxiety. I used to hide and isolate. That was a good reason to drink. gulp gulp alcohol.. so thats what I did until I finally asked for some help I quit once for 2 years after a bender out of town, just quit drinking. I was miserable. I didnt know why I was so angry and unhappy. The worst was seeing other people enjoying a drink. It was torture. I ended up just living in my bed because I couldnt live drinking or not drinking. Very dark time for me. And after 2 years and 1 week I was at a Christmas Party and the host asked what I wanted.. Red wine was what I said. That was another 3 years of drinking. And it was not pretty. Finally i decided to get help. That was 5 years and 2 months ago. The difference is I found a replacement for the booze. That was crucial to being happy and not drinking. Thats the goal for this booze hound.
1is2many

So, what was your replacement?

Everyone is letting me down right now. My work, my wife, my kids, but I don't get angry. I'm iritated. Easy solution. I'm at the gym and then going to a meeting at 830. It's the only way to clear my head.

the reason I drank was because I felt less than. I found if I work at bettering myself I am happy and don't need a drink. my replacement is aa. Sounds like the ex boss has had issues with drinking and maybe actually going would help to get to a better place. For me I just couldn't do it alone. It was like trying to lift myself up by my bootstraps. I would try and try with all my might but it was impossible. Good luck but just ceasing drinking is the tip of the iceberg. Find a replacement and the real key is asking for some help because I was good at slovling all my problems. I would just get drunk and they were gone.
But they always were back the next.

My ex-boss was a jerk. I don't want to be anywhere near him. I will not go to AA even if that's the only reason. He's a creep and it would be extremely awkward. I don't think he adheres to the confidentiality rule either. He used to tell me about the other people in his group. MAYBE if I could find a women only group?
I go to yoga. I hang out with my pets. I spend time outdoors and that is how I soothe myself other than the destructive things I do like drink, shop, eat...Last night I sat outside alone and watched the most amazing sunset develop due to a thunderstorm moving into the valley. It went on west and when I went to bed the light show it produced was impressive. I could see the lightening out one window and the stars out of the other.
Anyway, I did not drink again yesterday. Neither did my boyfriend who I live with. But he was grumpy last night and this morning so I think he's probably feeling the way I was feeling the other day.
Today is ok. Could be worse. I could be homeless like a friend of mine. All her family have turned their backs on her because she would not stop drinking.

Hello iamheretoo,

The important thing is to look at all of the options that are open to you and to pick whichever one or combinations that will work for you. Don’t allow yourself to be misled by people who say that they didn’t need any help because that is an approach that leaves many alcoholics in an early grave.

Starting with AA – like you mentioned, there may be a women’s meeting near you. Failing that, can you travel to another town for meetings? And if that is not an option, there are online meetings that probably won’t be as good as the real thing but could still help you. If it were me, I would disregard the old boss and go anyway because this is a life or death situation and no time for niceties.

If AA is simply not an option, you can achieve the same results in other ways. Talk honestly to your doctor or other medical people and they will guide you.

Also, take a look at the alternatives to AA at the link below:

www.soberrecovery.com/addiction/5-popular-alternatives-to-alcoholics-anonymous-2/

I'm not here to run a commercial. But I've found Kevin O'Hara's Alcohol Mastery to be great content. Much is free through YouTube. Have a look

I will not go to a meeting where he would be. Not even a little bit. He is a bad person, he is abusive and I've had enough of that it n my life. So I may try the women's group next week. They have Monday and Thursday evening meetings at a church nearby that is convenient for me to go to after work. Also thank you for the suggestions. I will check them out. :oD
Side note. I had an absolute shit day yesterday. Had a quarrel with my best girlfriend. All my books got wet in a downpour as I tried to move them in a truck with no windshield wipers. My "stepdaughter" neglected to tell me two important details in our schedule for the day that left me feeling insignificant. And then I misplaced the keys to my office. Surely yes all these things are not that big of a deal. I'm alive. Everyone that is important to me is ok. I really wanted to slam a beer when I got home but I didn't do it

I wouldn't want to go to a meeting where I would see an ex boss like the one you had either. I would pick a different meeting and go out of town if I had to.

There is also a book you can buy called the "12 steps for everyone who really wants them" which walks you through each of the steps and explains them in detail. I found this book in the detox section at the local hospital. I picked it up and could not put it back down again so I took it with me when I left. The writer, Jerry Hirschfield, combines some psychology with his explanations to help us understand, why we do some of the things we do and how to change that. This book helped me tremendously and was the catalyst I needed to begin my recovery on a positive note. I have an extra copy and if you trust me with your address, I will send it to you for free. If not, I totally understand. You can also buy it used on amazon for a few dollars.

Good luck on your road to recovery and may you find peace and happiness along the way.

God Bless

For me the solution to getting lifed on.. was to checkout. To just remove myself from life. That was no way to live. I have found that life can be a real awesome ride if I just sit back and relax and enjoy it. I was one to have to be in control of everything. and when I couldnt I would just crawl inside the bottle to hide from life.

Today I have another solution when I get lifed on. I step back take a breath and just let things sink in or percolate. I used to just react. Like a knee jerk when the Dr hits my knee. I would just kick back and fight.

Congrats on getting thru yesterday. Keep it up and the light is there, just its a short tunnel that you need to go thru to find it.

1is2many

Hello iamheretoo,

Very often, the difference between people who get sober and those who continue to struggle with alcoholism is that the former group find a means of dealing with life issues while the second tends to relapse in the face of difficulties.

Therefore, while not drinking is an excellent start, it would be wise to explore ways of changing your thinking so that normal life setbacks will not bother you so much. There are probably many ways of bringing about that change so it is just a matter of finding what works for you. The odds will increase in your favour if you keep an open mind and rule nothing out. I recall that I once had a lot of opinions that were set in stone and I swore I would never change them but those things are of little or no importance to me today because I have changed my thinking and have a different yardstick for measuring what is important.

The reason that AA is often recommended here is that it offers a programme of recovery that helps to bring about that change of thinking. You have nothing to lose by having a look at AA by going to the women’s meetings. Just bear in mind that it takes a while to gain an understanding of what it is all about and the great possibilities that it offers you. Some people leave just before the miracle is about to happen.

Don’t let the god idea put you off as many of the founding members of AA were atheists and agnostics, as are many of today’s members. There will always be misguided people in any such fellowship who will try to stamp their own ideas on proceedings so now and again, you will get the impression that AA has a religious flavour, but that is not what AA is about.

Another aid to recovery that some people here have recommended is Allen Carr’s book, “The Easy Way To Stop Drinking”. I have not read the book or studied his suggestions so I cannot comment on how effective it may be.