Your boyfriend must have some other amazing qualities if you put up with him drinking in bed. I seriously could not deal with that. Good job at keeping strong!

I'm with SEAQ. This guy must be a saint for you to allow him to disrespect you like that. He doesn't have to quit but he sure could show you some support.

Jeff and Sea, the reason he was in bed next to me is because we just moved and everything is in boxes. We don't have a couch yet. Usually he would go in a different room as me.

Pavlov, Its perfectly okay for you to try something else if you've decided AA is not for you. This does not mean, as many are suggesting, that you are giving up, and the idea that you've decided to go it alone is false... I'm guessing you have loved ones who probably support your efforts, and there are a whole bunch of resources available... For example SMART Recovery has a 24/7 chat room with some really helpful people. The point is... I'm guessing you are not giving up on yourself. I'm here to help you whatever you decide... And don't ever let anyone suggest that just because you were not interested in one solution that you were unwilling to do anything about your recovery.

Keep up the strength Pavlov, Hope you're getting settled in. It's a whole new start in your new place. That's great!

Thanks Sea. It's been helpful to be busy I think.

I tried hundreds of times to quit but failed each and every time. I had underlying issues such as fear, shame, and guilt triggering my relapses. It wasn't until I went through a 3 week outpatient program, that I was treated for those problems, making sobriety a whole lot easier. I learned coping skills which gave me the courage to go through life feeling confident and sober!

That was over 8 years ago. I live my life by the 12 steps and I have never been happier!

God Bless!

I'm the same. Stopping is easy for me but staying stopped through the difficult times is what I can't manage. I don't think AA is for me. I don't believe that I have a disease. I believe I have a really unhelpful way of coping with mental health issues. So I'm trying to get brave enough to start counselling with a focus on alcohol abuse.

Good luck Pavlov. I wish you the best.

Liz, I look forward to reading your progress. Thanks for sharing. I could go weeks and months without a bad drunk, but then I'd get blasted out of nowhere. Since I've gone to AA, I haven't had a drop, and I don't need it or want it.

For me it was simple. I couldn't guarantee with certainty 100% of the time that I'd be able to stop once I started. That was enough for me to know.