Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I tried to post other day, and after venting my whole situation, the thing would not post and kept saying "error".
I have not been on here lately. I can say that I hit the 2 year sober ( 2 1/2 now) on July 4th. I wish it was some profound willpower, or doing the steps and work, but really it was watching my brother die from liver failure at 42.
I don't want to return to drinking. I see pictures of myself few years ago, and I look like alcohol has hold of me. The light was gone. I am sober now, but not really happy. I faced my toxic marriage and got a divorce, but now he's the only one to stick around and come thru for me despite our separation. I know I am not happy with him, as he is very, very confrontational and dark. He is a good person, loyal. I would always be there for him, but can't picture myself being committed to eternity in the dynamic we have.
The thing about quitting was facing my moods. I am so full of emotions all the time. Some nights I think I should end things, not that I would, but the hopelessness of ever reaching a life I truly envision just engulfs me. I had a nursing degree, but didn't want to be in medical at all. I thought I could pay my debts, improve my credit, work the job a few years, then be in a position to do what I really want, which is to open a Motel Pet, also to be a writer in Hollywood.
Quitting doesn't magically solve problems in your life. If anything, it makes them more painful bc now you face the reality. I am so angry now. I can't stop feeling bitter, and stuck. I think of my youth and that I should have been building a life than running from it with alcohol. Now I am terrified how to survive this economy.
At least I wake up not hungover. It's taken years, but I am now trusting myself again. Alcoholic me (active version) was not trustworthy. I could blow my life up at any time when I let my addiction drive.
I am glad to see familiar names on here. It's good that you are still at it, helping others come through the dark.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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Hope the dog days of summer aren't getting you down!
It took me 3 or 4 years of sobriety before I was ready to let go of my past through forgiveness of myself and others. Throwing myself into the arms of a power greater then me helped me look at the past without bitterness and anger and without having feelings of being stuck...Letting it go and not judging it led to a more peaceful life filled with love and acceptance toward myself and others.
Congratulations on 2.5 years!
Every time Crucify comes up on my playlist I think about your post:)
Congrats on the continued sobriety. My mom ended her life and nursing career with her drinking and I only reached out to me in the last few months after a 10 year absence. So that was certainly a motivation for me as well. More than that, I promised myself that the cycle would end with me. My kids are now aware of their ancestors behaviors and what to watch out for.
Funny, I’ve been slowly enjoying my marriage as well and, also, will always be there for each other. Family needs space sometimes.
I’ll check in after work….
I'm glad you checked in! I'm impressed that you took action to take protect and care for yourself. That takes real courage. Respect:)
The bottom line is EGO. I have a bad way of being an ashol. This is what I am working on now. Somehow booze made me a foot taller ( and a bigger ashol) but without it I’m compensating.
I pray for all the people in this room to find a way to be sober and happy. It takes effort and I’m a lazy as so it takes work...
Best
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