Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Ok. So i made it through the day sober yesterday. It was touch and go for a minute there. The addict in me: a memoir. No.. The addict in me sets up "windows of opportunity". It is a game I lose where one part of my brain is coming up with excuses, time frames, windows i can jump out to get plastered. I love being drunk. The hedonistic, vulgar, combative retard within needs out. I haven't blown up my marriage in awhile! How about now?
There are things I'm deeply and existentially unhappy about & how bout handing the microphone to the side with the least tact? I am a saboteur by nature, i think. I can't tell you how many systems just epically crash when my gremlins get near them. Had one Valentine's Day working as 1 of 2 servers when a line out the door happens & the whole computer system quit. This place has a wine cellar. There were not table numbers for some reason. It was a living nightmare while others were trying to romance & holiday.
Dissatisfaction with a proper holiday celebration, that sounds very bourgeoisie, i am a person who likes luxury and fine dining and live a Cinderella story while I am buried under disproportionate responsibility. I want to break free. Not drunk girl flashing her flesh for plastic ornaments free, but not a constant slave to being poor and unhappy free.
I can't accomplish that drunk. I can't tell you how many projects i think i can handle with "a little buzz" and it become a shit show. Try using Flex seal on a ladder plastered. The results would terrify you.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
I know, big future talk. But it’s the mindset that I needed to let it go. Absolutely do one day at a time. That’s all we can do. However having that ‘never again’ in the back of my mind helped me to not ‘give’ myself little rewards. It made my sober journey happen.
My life has changed so much. So much more than I thought possible.
You write like you have some intelligence. Use that brain of yours and stop letting it drag you around. Take the helm back. Chart a new course. Freedom is right now!! Do you want it? Do you really want it? This is your life so I hope you do.
The big obvious realization that I had to learn is that no one can do it for me. Period.
Keep posting. Dig deep and allow yourself to be fearless.
There are people in this group who were extremely successful at staying sober, and they will share it with you. In the end, the choice is yours.
Good luck on your road to recovery...May you find peace and happiness along the way.
God Bless
Ultimately it comes down to being honest with yourself. I found that when I quit, my brain started to quiet down enough to allow actual, honest to goodness, time to start learning how to be real. 34 months sober and I know myself more than I ever have. This is the best part of sobriety. It allows us to shift the entire perspective of the behavior of always searching for another place in the future that will be better than the one we’re in right now That grasping for straws kind of behavior continually distracts from being present. And that means being comfortable with ourselves right now. Not after a drink or two.
Here in the sober present. The only place where we can possibly be our authentic self.
Which, to me, is the same as sanity.
Anyway no gurus or cults needed. Thats just more distraction behavior. Keep it simple and real every day and things just start running a little smoother.
Chaos is loud, sobriety is softer In the way that I am kinder to myself.
I was this way about 7 years ago, constantly sabotaging myself. Some inner voice inside said you can’t be happy, you are supposed to be miserable... that is alcoholism talking and today I hear the voice but I don’t respond.
Keep up the progress. But for me I had to change my ... everything. I had to learn how to cope, how to let loose, how to just BE. Best to your journey ,
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The hedonistic, vulgar, combative retard within needs out. I haven't blown up my marriage in awhile! How about now?
Today, after years of working on me I don’t jump out the opportunity window.
F that
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