Hi Tina, Thank you for sharing and I will put you in my prayers...

Oh and congrats on the 27 days

hugs tina......i am not religious.....but i know that "God" plays yatzee.....and He cheats......lol........suffering is a form of cleansing.......i am sorry for your loss on both fronts.

just keep this thought on a post-it note in the back of your head.....you are not alone......and the hands that roll the dice will one day embrace you.


peace and whispers. lew

Several comments:
1. I'm so happy you got the God shot I believe that once you start looking for them you will realize they happen all the time.
2. I'm so very sorry for your loss I really don't know quit e how I would feel, but I believe I would realize that either God is or he isn't and if he isn't as an alcoholic I'm in deep deep trouble. If he is than who am I to question his will. It took me years to understand this reality. This is how I dealt with all of my health problems, my dad's strokes, Parkinsons disease, dimensia, The death of my best friend of 30 years in a car accident.
3. Please realize that your husbands reaction is his business based on his perceptions and his frame of mind at that point. In reality it had absolutely nothing to do with you. (I know this is an extremely difficult concept this early into your sober journey.)
4. Look at this from your ex's point of view he may have been struggling with this day as much or more than you and didn't really appreciate being reminded of it. Earlier this year I called my mother to tell her I was experiencing some real set backs and problems in my health recovery. Thirty seconds into the conversation she asks me do you know what today is/ I knew there was something significant, but she made me guess and after several tries she finally tells me it would have been my 25th wedding anniversary. She knows full well that getting divorced was the most painful regretable thing that has ever happened to me, but she brings it up while I'm lying in bed fighting for my life. I know she doesn't do this to hurt me it's just that she doesn't stop to think how it may effect me.
5. It is way too early in your sobriety for you to be making amends to people and when you make amends you should never do it with the idea that you expect or want forgiveness. The point is to just clean up the messes you made. To those that you care the most about you immediate family the only way you can truly make amends is to just stop doing what you were doing quit acting the way you were acting and treat them with love, patience. tolerance and understanding.

I hope you find a way of staying sober through this date and every day. May God bless you and keep you. May you learn something new in your spiritual journey through every experience.

Your shrink visits you at home? Wow, you must be quite an important patient :).

27 days is great-don't think too much about your ex (I know it is easy to say), think about you and taking care of you. You will have time later to see if things fall into place. Just think good thoughts if you can, and pray for guidance perhaps.

I am so sorry about your son btw, xo.

Hello, I think Reed's reply to you is a good and wise one.

If you are in AA, have you got a sponsor who is taking you through the Steps as set out in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous?

I had grief to deal with too and by going through the Steps I was able to come to terms with, and be at peace with, the past.

PM me if you would like to talk further.

Peace to you.

Thanks for all the replys. It is now day 28 and everything is still okay with me. I do believe that some people say things that they do not actually realize hurt other people. My x does that alot. I need to just stay away from him. (However, a part of me still misses him.) Sometimes I just feel SOOOOOO alone. Again thanks for all the support. I do not have a sponsor yet, but I have been looking and hope to have one by the end of the month. Tina

Hi Tina so very sorry for your loss I have a 26 year old and dont know what Id do without her.Just to let you know I am praying for you may God bless you and keep you safe....................Joe

Tina,
congradts on day 28! I am really sorry to hear about your son. I can't imagine what you have been through.

I remember a speaker at a meeting telling a story about calling an ex and somehow he managed to get across that sometimes not taking the first drink is as critical as not taking that first phone call with an ex either. I have applied that with good results over the years, but this week I have been feeling really emotional and alone....so I got in touch with an ex bf to mixed results and wow, surprise, I am still feeling lonely and even a little bit more so since he is out partying and dating and having crazy relationships. And I am sober and grateful but wishing I hadn't been in contact with him. I am pretty sure though with a lot of praying about this there is peace right around the corner. and I am not picking up a drink or a phone! :)

Awww...crap..Menace, sometimes it's helpful to remember we can not control anothers thoughts, actions, or preceiveved notions. Shoot I don't know you or your situation but I can offer a little hope. Your a Good person. You reach out and express that you care. This is not a bad thing. That's all you can do, what someone else dose or reacts to is up to them. This in no way reflects on any olive branch you extend, just extend it again. I hope your hurt will not hurt as much if you just keep trying to be the best YOU , that's all you've got. And by the way, that IS very much good enough. Worry not about the perception just keep coming from that place of healing and hopefully you'll be able to find some peace in that. Be safe sweetieheart, your a good gal...things will get better. sending love & prayers to you.---sun

Congratulations, Tina.

at the very beginning of my sobriety I was amazed at the people God brought to me, just when I needed them, and also how my life turned around solely by prayer. It doesnt happen so much now, but I know Hp will be with
me always.

Thanks for all the comments......now day 29...and I was in a so so mood. A little depressed because I had blood work done for my doctor and they think I have diabetes. Just another something to work on.....loosing weight.....Oh well, have to go for a second test on Wednesday. As to my x-----no more phone calls.....things are better left unsaid..
the loneliness will subside soon I hope!
Tina

well done on the 27 days, I remember going through the first months, it was hard, especially on my own, but the end is worth it. keep your heart up, you will succeed.
well done for talking about it.