Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Addiction & Recovery
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God, I need help.

needingintimacy
needingintimacy
Hi everyone, I am not new to DS, but to this group. I start drinking 8 yrs ago when my marriage became abusive and now 6 years after my divorce, I am still drinking every night. I drink a half pint Ever night, sometimes more. When my ex had my kids, I sleep til noon or later. When I have them, I wake at 7 am to get them to school then sleep for several hours before I need to pick them up. I go to the liquor so often, I rotate between 6 stores to make my drinking less obvious. Liquor stores close at 9 pm, so 8-8:30 is hell for me. I try to not get liquor, then start panicking that I should go, shouldn't go for so long that I end up leaving my house to get vidka "just incase" because I'm scared to not have it in the hiuse. Half the time I drive to the store, I am hating myself. I don't wirk and my drinking is stopping me from looking for work. I am so strapped for cash, yet spend $45/week on alcohol, and worry that my kids will figure me out. On top and f that, my dad is a serious alcoholic and I hated him for it all if my life, yet here I am, still judging him, but being like him at the same time. And my ex, who I always told that I thought he had a drinking problem, has now been sober for 1 1/2 years. And I'm drinking my life away every day and don't get help even though I know it is killing me.
FairiIse
FairiIse
Hi and welcome. I have similar experience to those who have responded here and a similar time sober as PJ.

One thing I would like to highlight for you as you approach your first meeting is that there is a code of anonymity in AA - it's in the title of course because people respect it and we all go to meetings for the same reason. There are closed meetings (alcoholics only) and open meetings (alcoholics and others, such as family members, who go along to lend support or learn more about the illness).

It's good to see you have been coming back in on the discussion to add further thoughts on how you are getting along - it's the first step in being proactive towards recovery. I wish you well.
stickywick
stickywick
Welcome. So first things first -- don't worry about anything till you get sober. As has been mentioned; you can find an AA meeting near you most likely. I'm sure there are "reasons" you havent gone, but you need to stop drinking and what you are doing -- isnt working. So I'd recommend you either check yourself into a rehab; or; go to an AA meeting. Till something changes nothing will.
parthgalen
parthgalen
Good morning - You have a lot of solid support here. I am in the early stages of sobriety (4 months w/out a drink, but only one month sober as I decided I needed to still get high so proceeded to snort some ADD meds back in mid December). Just decide not to drink today and if you can get to a meeting, I would try one. For me, the AA meetings have been a life saver as I would be in a much darker place now if I hadn't started going back in late September. It is a welcoming place, not a judging place as everyone in there has their own story of how alcohol has controlled their lives and how they are powerless over it. If you see someone you know, what 's the big deal? They are there because they have the same issue as you and want to save their own hide -- just like you! :) One day at a time. Just don't drink for today and keep coming here as part of your recovery process. Hugs, PG
needingintimacy
needingintimacy
I made my first day! Put on my big girl pants and went to my first-ever AA meeting - thank you to everyone repeating this advice. My goal is to be 100% dedicated to attending as many meetings as I realistically can and to reach out and take this in baby steps. I pray I can make it through each craving and hurdle. Thank you again everyone!
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Please keep in touch! The path you take on your road to recovery may help someone else! You have a story that needs to be told....many can identify...you have helped others stay sober today.

God Bless!
parthgalen
parthgalen
Good morning NI -- Thanks for coming back and sharing and congrats on going to a meeting. There are many ways to get sober and stay sober. For me, walking in and admitting to a bunch of my fellow alcoholic brothers and sisters that I was one of them was a huge step and it was a welcoming experience and one that made me feel so much relief and lighter for the first time in years. Getting and staying REAL honest with yourself will help, sharing that honesty with others is what really helps me the most. Not being afraid to be vulnerable, for being vulnerable not only strengthens my sobriety but it is the best gift you can give to a fellow alcoholic and helps them to stay sober in the process. Yours in the journey, PG
readytolive30
readytolive30
We have a lot of similarities. I too drink at least a half pint every night. It started when I was in an abusive relationship and continued on even though my life changed for the better 7 years ago. You have taken the first step to realize the destruction this is causing to your life. I have had the same realization and tonight I may attend my first AA meeting. I think we will be able to get a lot of the hurt and scars out in the open there. My heart goes out to you. Its time to heal. Its time :)
readytolive30
readytolive30
I just saw you went to the AA meeting!! That's awesome!! woohoo!!
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
Needing congrats. Did you introduce yourself as a newcomer? Were people outgoing towards you and extend a hand for help?
needingintimacy
needingintimacy
I introduced myself on the second day and spoke. People were very welcoming and I got 2 phone numbers. Went back the next afternoon, had a big, snotty cry and received 10 hugs after, tons of keep coming backs, another number and a few texts later that day checking in on me. Yesterday I went to two meetings, got my 24 hour coin!!!, and more numbers. This afternoon am going back to the afternoon one I've been at everyday since Tuesday (and it's literally one block from my house - a sign?) and just need to keep it up.

My mind is in a bit of a frenzy, but I know I can never get out of this unless I stop drinking altogether. I know it could be worse, but I want THIS to be my rock bottom, not another one much deeper than this.

Readytolive, I hope you can jo on this journey with me. We could help each other out - as will everyone on this site and at AA.
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
Needing,

Your message is huge for other newcomers. I love to see you rallying the troops. There are people here simply afraid to attend or seek another method (Smart Recovery/Alan Carr).

I'm so glad you went, and you're already making connections. As I just posted in another thread there is something to seeing fresh and healthy faces, hearing their laughter or tears, and hugging it out!

I miss my AA friends when I go days without a meeting. I typically go Mon and Wed (our chip meeting) because it's a great 80-100 person coed group. I don't care much for the men only meetings, or the day the women only meeting is, but I respect those meetings. I went Mknday but had to miss Wednesday, now I'm missing my friends.

I might go today just to be around that positive energy.
kookoobrutus
kookoobrutus
It was uncomfortable for me at times but I'm now 2.5 years sober. If I can do it you can too.
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