Hi Kaza: how’s it going today? I’ll ask what I ask my wife, how did you sleep? I know that it can really change how you perceive your day.
I spend about 1 1/2 hours a day walking and working out/yoga. Combined with a large garden (3000 sq ft) and work my body is ready to rest by bedtime.
Are you active? Anything will help. Toe touch and reaches, stairs etc. walking is my peaceful space so I rarely miss it.
Noticing the sugar cravings? Peanut butter helps. Fruit too.

Finally, I love my garden it takes me to another world, I have bought crystal solar lights and as I am not sleeping to good I like to go out there late at night. But we live opposite a massive park and those foxes can sure make a noise. Never noticed it before but they scream. Had to Google it because I didn't know what is was. I'm not having a easy time right now, my sons drug worker rang me because he is not engaging with them. He is not replying to texts and the tissue viability nurse rang to say he didn't turn up for appointment. Anxiety off the roof but still I don't drink.But I feel really sad. The positive is my grandson is happier, he always sided with his dad. Lockdown is easing and I have booked a few days away near the coast and we will go fishing together.. Hope you are all well x

Never ever had a sweet tooth and not craving it. But I crave meat, especially rib eye steak. Strange but this little woman can eat for England and never gets any heavier. Nervous energy ???

I love being in the garden at night. Especially in the moon light. I swear the plants are vibrating. I’m experimenting with pruning the peppers this year. The half that I cut back are developing into much bushier plants. Curious to see what the yields will be. The chard leaves are the size of plates and so tender I put them in salad. 16 tomato plants so I am ordering more canning jars. The mesclun patch just keeps producing no matter how much I cut.
The coast sounds lovely. I have been thinking about going to Maine to visit the maritime where I lived as a child. Where I fell in love with the wild sea.
You’re doing great:)

I didn’t know about fox. The raccoons scream like a (no offense) woman. Cornered bunnies too.
That’s hard that your son is struggling. My wife often says that we’re as happy as our most miserable child. She went to Maui to have some time to herself. Five months and she’s getting ready to come back. Our daughter doesn’t need much because she’s always tired from the methadone and is basically sleeping her life away. She was in a detox for a month of sobriety but against my advice continued to get her daily dose. It would have been a perfect time to get off it. She’s 27 and we can’t make her do it. Maybe someday she’ll have had enough?

My sons heroin addiction has spanned half his life, he's 35. Missed all those informative years, so basically he still has the mentality of a 17 year-old. Been to rehab , X3 Prison X2, clean for 3 yrs but never really moved forward. I worked in the drug services for 10 yrs. Prior to that a Magistrate, so saw lots of it in court. Sometimes the addiction is bigger than the person and I believe that of my son. The body is wasted and I fear it will end tragically. I'm amazed my alcohol intake never got off the Richter Scale, work kept me in check as does my wonderful grandson now. Methadone is a synthetic drug manufactured during the 2nd world war. Fantastic painkiller and very cheap. Services are very keen to keep them on it, cost effective and eases the judicial system. Better than heroin but not conductive to moving forward. Rock and a hard place comes to mind for you and your wife. How many mils is she taking, if you don't want to answer, I understand. Fortunately unlike heroin they don't build a tolerance to it and don't have to raise their dose, unlike heroin, just like alcohol you need more to get the same Buzz. If she is so lethargic then the dose is too big, it is meant to make her function and people hold down employment and lead productive lives on methadone. Can't really add much more as I would need detail. I am knew to gardening and its trial and error but I know I am loving it. Sending photos to friends and family, a better Buzz than alcohol. Sleeping ok but get the tremors in my hands now and again and also a slump in energy, having smoothies with berries and fresh ginger to get sugar. Never was keen on chocolate, prefer.... dare I mention it again....Rib eye steak, mushrooms, fried eggs lol Your wife phrased it perfectly 're daughter. I become reclusive, very easy at the moment with semi lock down but hubby can go on as per usual. Maybe that's a good thing as he runs his business 6 days a week. Sending good wishes and peace to you both x

So how is the tapering going?

I have heard that it is harder to quit alcohol than it is to quit heroin. Booze is sneaky and so ready to “help” you cope. Don’t believe it’s lies.

1-2

Hello again 1-2. Well after your band aid lecture lol I pulled it off, so today is 15 days AF. The fact that it is 03.45 here says a lot !!! I have been awake for a while but will nod off again then up around 9am That seems to be the pattern but I do get odd nights I can go back to sleep immediately.. The grandsons school has not reopened so that's a plus. I am not craving alcohol really just have bouts of mild withdrawal feelings now and again, and I am aware there is something missing. My face keeps coming out in eczema, never ever had eczema but that could be stress due to my son being awol I did imagine life would be more colourful and wonderful but again worrying about son and still in semi lockdown. We adapt quickly don't we ? I can't imagine going shopping without standing in a queue eating really well but should walk more. Never was into exercise, as Joan Rivers said "If God meant you to touch your toes he would have put diamonds on the pavement" Once I can find a yoga class I am going to do that as I did it 20 years ago and loved it. Hope all is well with you x

I do a combination of yoga and free weight exercise. The flexibility is really nice. I find a lot of joy in my physical conditioning. Like I said before: 10% happier. Appreciate the little things. The routine of keeping the exercise going has been good for my mind as well. Especially the walking. Clears out the cobwebs.
15 days is fantastic!!
It’s great that you’re excited about the gardening. Trial and error is right. I’ve watched Wallace and Grommet , curse of the were rabbit with my granddaughter (7) and thought everyone in England were gardeners:) I’ve had to deal with some real issues this season. Flea beetles are my first planting of kale before I found the remedy. Now my second bean planting is infected with blight. Didn’t buy resistant seed. So I’m replanting with new beans and hope. Didn’t have this problem before. So more reading to stay ahead of the next issue. It’s 90 today and the plants are growing fast. Peas are 6”” a day. Covered in flowers.
Back to our wayward ‘kids’. You’re right about the maturity level. And the addiction being bigger. I’ve thought this also. Since I have suggested her cutting back so many times she just tells me anything. She struggles with the truth. I am guessing she’s around 100 mg. We have a family member my age who reduced a mg a day for 3 months and ended her addiction. She said it was hard but well worth the effort.
Going to spend the afternoon with her this week so I will try to find out more.
What 1is 2 said about how hard alcohol is to quit really made me thankful. I was dependent on my daily intake for years and I was able to stop on my first try. I wanted a change. I want a healthy life. Now I lump alcohol along with all the other stuff that isn’t good for me. I will never have a drink just like I’ll never have a cigarette or fast food. Doesn’t feel good so what’s the point? I make my own baked seasoned fries that we enjoy much more.

Finally, 100MLis on the high end really depending on her weight, I am guessing she is around the average 140-180 pound. That would be highishh for her weight. But it depends on how much H she was using, you can be heavy and on less because the usage was high. Drug services start low for safety and because clients lie about how much they were using, a) don't want to say how bad it was resulting in a too low dose which will make you seek heroin to make you feel ok or b) say it was more so they can get a higher dose to give you a Buzz, in which case they are still not committed to recovery. 100mils should ideally not be taken once a day but split into 2 doses of 50mils. But drug services are overwhelmed and happy to give I dose per day. Probably because of my background I am trusted to pick up my daughter's prescription weekly and I administrative daily, keeping it locked in a safe, because of grandchild. But when she went aol I informed services that I would no longer be picking up. Daughter was on 90mils daily and weighs 140 pound, no sleepiness. So we look at 3 things here 1. Dose is too high and should be slowly reduced 2. She still has access to drugs and 3. She is depressed or mental health is out of whack. Sorry to anyone thinking this has nothing to do with alcohol but hey its helping each other that matters. X

Should have heavy in weight but dosage of meth less because usage of drugs was low.

Poops be Damon sure a lie will come back and bite you on the bum!!!! It's my daughter not my son, I wanted to keep her anonymous. Sorry folks x

It’s ok, we don’t judge here:) It does help me understand the higher stress level though. Our daughter is about 130 and her dose is just a guess. She has BPD which makes getting to the truth difficult.

130mls is a lot Finally, yes girls are a bigger worry, they have the disadvantage of being manipulated by males did the BPD come after the addiction.? I really sympathise with you. We live in a city, hence the googling of the shrieking noises in the park, I knew we had foxes but its like a jungle out there. Drug use is massive here and I know personally 6 young people who have died. One young males parents where visited by the police yesterday to say their son had been taken to hospital. He was a recreational user and is now severely brain damaged, they are turning off his life support tomorrow. I worry so much and with limited flights and border controls tightened because of Covid19 I think drugs are scarcer and are being cut with anything to hand, even rat poison to bump up the profits. What a world. My grandson keeps me sane and I knew I had to stop drinking as he needs me so much. His father is also an addict and spends most of his time in prison. I see or speak to my daughter daily and she's not good, I can only pray that the penny drops before she does. I never lie to my grandson although he doesn't know detail. My 2 sons are very successful, one a Headmaster and the other a programme developer for a huge online gambling company and yet my daughter is the one who over achieved in her education. Loads of brain power but no common sense. Hope one day we can tell each other good news. I have encouraged her to join a forum for support but she isn't willing. We have spent a kings ran son on support, detox and rehab to no avail, so now we do nothing but show her love when we can. Yes the English are good gardeners (just not this one) but we do get lots of rain here. Take care x

Have you committed to not drinking no matter what happens? I just got back from the beach with my 6.75 year old granddaughter and we had a great time. Not that long ago I would have been thinking about having a few shots (units) to enjoy myself. Such a sad reality I was stuck in. We are so close now. Because I’m present for her. Your grandson will be feeling this from you as you stay consistent and teach him what a new you is like. They’re like our second chance, eh?
The most moving book I’ve read this year is the Dali Lamas, How to practice, living a meaningful life. His simple approach to what matters helped me see that the mundane in life IS life. I needed to shift my perspective to find that color you mentioned.
I have been conditioned to think my sense of suffering was due to a lack. I giggle when I envision an abundance of lack. I mean, what are we waiting for? Some future state where everything is just right? It’s all the moments where we are present. That’s it. And it’s everything.
Caring for yourself is so beautiful. Hope you are gentle and patient with yourself. The appetite is a great sign