I'm an alcoholic with a progressive illness so there is no hope of my ever becoming a normal drinker. That's fine by me because I no longer want to drink and haven't for quite some time.

If you have found that you cannot control your drinking now, no matter how long a break you have from drinking you might find nothing has changed when you try to drink again.

Rather than stare into the mists of time and maybes, it might be more helpful for you to keep your thoughts just in today, at this time, while you find out what you need to do to stay with your current goal.

When I first stopped drinking I found a great deal of self-sabotage lurking in my thinking because I was still obsessed with alcohol.

I can't and I know it because I tried. oh, I would have a couple one night and think that was good. Then the next night two more, And then 3 - 4-.. before long right back to where I was.

Hello layla54,

The experience of many people down through the years has shown that a person who has become an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic, unless science comes up with some sort of cure. Thinking years ahead and wondering about how it might work out is natural but it is not necessarily the best approach. It is easier to live in today and leave the future until it comes. When I stopped drinking I used to project into the future too but it was suggested that I should try to stay sober just for today and that was a lot easier.

I also thought that not being able to drink was about the worst thing in the world but I was wrong about that and life without alcohol has become very rewarding and enjoyable. Hopefully that will be your experience too and you will come to see that there are many opportunities ahead.

You might be able to one of these days, but for now you need to focus on sobriety. The longer I am without drinking, the less appealing it has become to me!!!

Probably not. Once you suffer loss of control it doesn't get better. I eventually had to realize that I didn't really even want to have one or two, I wanted to drink like I drank without facing the consquences and that ain't real life.

This reminds me of a story I heard at an AA meeting from a guy who was sharing. He said he had quit drinking for 6 years, walked by a bar he use to visit and decided he was going to go in and have 2 drinks and leave. Well to make a long story short, he drank all night and for the next 15 years before he got sober again.

He was lucky to even be alive.

God Bless!

Probably not.

But you might just find that you don't miss it and that life is just fine without it.

I can tell you for me I cant just have 1-2 it would open the flood gates and I would be back to 12 + a day I guarantee it because after quitting for once for 2 yrs and it was just like where I left off

it is a very common thought and I bet every alcoholic has thought the same thing... question is, will you continue to entertain those thoughts or SMASH THAT THOUGHT

think of all the good things that being sober will bring

1is2many

I've told myself for 15 years (over half of my life!) that at some point, if I try hard enough, I can have just one or two. That I can control it. My drinking would go through stages- after a break of it I'd start out having one or two a night thinking I was fine. It never lasted, and each time the drinking increases and it's harder to quit. I think it's a lot easier when we just stop fighting it. Fighting it is so exhausting. When we can just admit to ourselves that it's beyond us and we need help, it gets easier. Good luck to you on your journey Layla! Thinking of you and hoping you're doing okay. You can get through this and be better in the end for it.

I would highly suggest getting educate on alcoholism and I'm pretty sure you will find your answer.

Friday I said I'd have two drinks. Over the course of the weekend, I drank a bottle of crown and a ton of vodka. I wish I could stop at 2.

Take it one day at a time and let's just live in today knowing we can't drink. You're almost through day 1! And I think you'll bed happy when you wake up tomorrow feeling good. I know I was this morning. And day 2 is coming to an end for me. Keep working hard, and take it day by day or hour by hour. And if you start to worry, come on here. That's what helped me yesterday.

Thanks everyone. I am almost finished with day 1 of being sober....going to sleep soon and I think it's safe to say I will make it to bed without drinking.

I did start to worry that I would fail and so I came on here. Everyone has been so insightful.

I know it won't work for me. 1 or 2 just lights the fuse. If you are trying and repeatedly failing, sounds like the definition of insanity. I've come at accept the fact that I can no longer drink alcohol, which sounds scary at first, but with time has gotten easier to swallow. Thinking of the really shitty times makes it easier yet. That's my opinion and best of luck to you.

It's not the last drink that gets me into trouble, it's the first one.