Hello Angels253,

You are very welcome to the DS group and I wish you good fortune and success for the future. Your post has reminded me of where I was about nine years ago when I realised that I had to stop drinking and found that I could not. Rather than give you advice about what to do, I will tell you a little about what I did when I had similar concerns to what you have now.

Not only did I believe that I could not have fun without alcohol but I strongly believed that I could not function at all without being constantly half drunk. Looking back, I can now see that those were ridiculous beliefs on my part, but they were very real at the time.

Failure to deal with the problem on my own brought me to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and that was where the learning process began. I can distinctly remember two events of the type that to my mind you could not attend without drinking, that were several months down the line and I worried about how I would deal with them. The first piece of advice I was given was to live in this day and leave the future until it comes. By the time that I was about four months going to AA meetings, I got a sponsor and embarked on the wonderful journey of recovery from alcoholism.

Soon after I started going through the Twelve Steps, I discussed the upcoming events with my sponsor. He told me that my thinking would be completely different by the time those events took place. Deep down, I did not really believe him but I did put my trust in him and in the programme of recovery. When the time came, I did indeed sail through those events and actually enjoyed them very much, without a drop of alcohol.

When I attended the first AA meeting, I was a nervous wreck who could barely mutter my own name. I was starting to develop a stutter among other things because I was so insecure and full of fear. Today, I am confident and self-assured and tackling any issues that life sends my way. It is all down to that AA Twelve Step programme of recovery.

Therefore, in my experience, far from helping you to have fun, the glass in your hand is actually weighing you down and stopping you from living life. Relying on alcohol to help you to have fun is a bit like buying an expensive car and driving it in second gear. You deserve to drive in top.

I completely understand the "no fun" aspect of sobriety. I remember one of my early AA meetings when if finally dawned on me that I can't again. ever. forever. My mind immediately rocketed forward to my daughter's wedding. How was I going to participate in the champagne toast without a glass of bubbly? Mind you, at the time, my daughter was about 6 or 7. Talk about overthinking things!!

My daughter got married last July. And I laughed, danced, enjoyed the toasting, had a blast! Completely sober. In 3 weeks, my daughter and I are going on a Caribbean cruise to Mexico. Am I worried about the free-flow of booze? Not one bit. My husband and I occasionally go out dancing at clubs, dance halls and honky-tonks. I'm not tempted by the bar or beer taps. I have more fun sober than I thought possible.

You see, the 12 step program of recovery suggested by AA has removed the obsession of alcohol from me. My "drinking problem" has been removed. So I can go anywhere, do anything without alcohol and still have fun. I learned that everything (even sex) is more enjoyable sober than with the fuzz of alcohol induced buzz to put a blur on everything.

This seems to be a common worry among those just beginning recovery and it was for me as well. I worried about how others would judge me if I did not do as they did, if I did not have a can of beer in my hands. I think we all want to be liked, we all want to feel a part of the group, and conform to what others in the group are doing! We just don't want to feel like an outsider. We want to feel needed and appreciated no matter where we are or what we do.

You know, it takes alot of courage to be different and to be different for all the right reasons, because we care about our bodies and because we want to be able to think clearly at all times. The first thing I had to do when I left an outpatient treatment program, was get rid of all my old drinking buddies. They just wanted to drag me down with them, and being around them was a huge trigger to me. I did not want to risk relapsing. I only missed them until I could make sober friends in AA. Being an example for others to follow has brought rewards back to me, that are too numerous to mention! I lover being different!

God Bless

Angels253, please take this serious illness seriously, and it is of great help taking this one day at a time. Maybe go for one hour without drinking. Then go two hours, call a member of AA. Go to meetings and ask for help. There is no shame in this illness.

Hi Angels253

I'm 60 days sober today. I too think about that a lot. The good thing is, with it being April, there are no major events on the calendar.

I'm not sure how I'll react on the 4th of July or the weddings coming up this summer. I do know that if I drink today, I'd probably drink tomorrow and even if not every day, I'd 99.9% drink on the 4th. Give yourself a chance to not drink at those future events. IMO, it starts with not drinking today. I give myself the right to drink tomorrow, I just latch on to not drinking today.
You can still be funny with a rock glass with club soda and lime. Also it's MUCH CHEAPER and NO HANGOVERS

Thank you for all the replies I am trying hard but the dr said I will need to cut down gradually as it could have a serious effect. I look forward to the day when I don,t need alcohol to function.

Hello Angels253,

You are wise to heed the doctor’s advice as sudden withdrawal from alcohol can be dangerous.

Be careful however not to use the doctor’s warning as an excuse to continue drinking. The crux of the matter is that for an alcoholic, cutting it down gradually is a bit like trying to extinguish a fire by pouring oil on it.

There is a slogan in AA that goes, “Easy Does It But Do It”.

I completely relate to this post. I knew I needed to stop long before i ever could. I kept thinking of how much fun i would be missing out on (I am 22 so all my friends are still drinkers) but once I started going to meetings and identifying with other alcoholics that connection kept me coming back. Then I got a sponsor and began working steps and praying. It all worked when I didn't believe it would. I finally feel like I am me again. I can laugh at things like I used to when I was a kid. Life isn't miserable its beautiful. And fun without a drink or a drug. I still have moments where I wish I could but in times like that I play the tape through to where the drink would take me. Some one I know says "think of what the drink will do to you no for you." And then I think of all my blessings pray and reach out to another alcoholic. I have to keep it simple. And just stay sober for today. In the beginning I would take it one minute at a time as opposed to one day at a time. And it worked. Please reach out anytime.

Very normal fear. See booze was my crutch and I didn't have any experience without it. But once I decided that booze was not my friend anymore finally I was able to enjoy life without having to have a drink in my hand
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I would second what bobinmaine said in his first paragraph. We are social animals and our social lives are extremely important. We need to be part of the troop where we would be safer, will get appreciated etc. etc. This is very powerful instinct and brings about anxiety if we are going to fit in and contribute to the common good, maybe be leaders. I vividly remember my teenage years when I got hooked. My first shots at parties felt like a miracle- the anxiety got erased, i blended in, I liked everybody present and vice versa. This was all to the point where alcohols removes all the barriers of common sense and the feelings that nothing is forbidden, you can be the king of the party creeps in, and all the way downhill to where fights start and people get hurt. So do you want to be that person? For me it was a huge relief to understand (after decades) that by being sober and present, be acceptant, and rawly taste life can bring you more satisfaction than the false promises of inebriation. You will invariably get to that conclusion, the sooner, the better.