I liked the effect that alcohol produced. The not feeling feeling. Thing is that I was using it to cope with life. I found that it was like a filter. For the bad and the good. Then when I wanted to stop I couldn't.

I'm an alcoholic. If I drink one then I want more and more. It's like a switch gets thrown and I will drink until I pass out. Then the next day I would have guilt and remorse and have to drink to handle the bad feelings.

I drank straight until I was 38 and drinking about 10 drinks a day. I found that I could quit but I always would start again. Booze was the release mechanism. I was stuck, couldn't live with it , couldn't live without it. It was a bad spot.

Only when I realized I was not going to be able to do it alone did I seek some help. I never ever had asked for help before. So I found some other alcoholics and learned there is a way to cope without booze. It is so much better.

I pray that you can find a fulfilling life. You deserve to be happy

1-2

I think you already know that you can't go on drinking like that without severe consequences. Those consequences come sooner or later, but there is no escaping them. It's not worth screwing up your life and your health over a job. That's rational advice, but I know that when I was drinking I was unwilling to take rational advice and came up with many excuses to justify my excessive quantities and consumption. I don't think anyone can tell you whether you're an alcoholic on an anonymous form; but would you like to stop?

If so, confide in someone close to you and tell them you need help.

I see from your profile that you are bipolar? Someone close to me is bipolar, so I'm very familiar with it. Maybe you're self-medicating with alcohol? But if you are taking alcohol and psych drugs together, the psych drugs will not work properly. And if you're not on any meds at this time, the right combination might help you. But you'll still need to see your doctor.

I remember getting fired from a job and drinking myself unconscious, every day following the loss of my livelihood but things went from bad to worse and, long story short, a cop gave me a choice of jail or detox so I picked detox and that was the beginning of my recovery. Outpatient, followed by counseling followed by regular AA meetings is what gave me the gift of my life back and I have never been happier!

Losing my job was not the end of the world, in fact, it motivated me to go it alone and do my own thing, so I work when I want, I have what I need and I have a great life!

I can't answer your question, only you can but I really believe, you already know the answer.

I will pray for you,

God Bless!

thanks everyone... i am on meds and i have been having outbursts of tantrums and not coping well with anything . i really dont know if im an alocholic ...maybe i am....

Alcohol is like gasoline to a person with other issues. A fiery explosion awaits. Please be careful.

Yep, but maybe not as much as some of us who have been abusing alcohol for decades. I am not sure yet. Keep us updated. Try to stop drinking and then come back and tell us how it goes. Hugs

There are some surveys online that can help determine if your drinking issue is in the direction of alcoholism. On the other hand we don't need a label to live a better life. The plain and simple truth is "alcohol is a poison" and living without using it should be easy, if it isn't then there is a problem. The degree of our problem is unique to each of us and if a label is applicable then you might apply it or not (denial). It truly is your call.
The answer to your question though is rather easy to find and that is... don't drink and wait, it won't take long for the results to show up.
Stay positive, search for ansewrs and live free of alcohol. You'll find it is a much better decsion and is actualy very empowering in all areas of your life.
GC

Hello aprilmillett88,

The label is not that important but what really matters is that you are abusing alcohol. I think you know yourself that what you are doing is wrong and that it cannot continue.

Try quitting for a few months and see how that works out. If you decide to quit but keep finding reasons to drink or if not drinking is making you stressed and irritable then you may well be an alcoholic. If that is the case, you will need to decide between continuing on a downward spiral that can lead to destruction or quitting alcohol completely. There is no in-between or grey area for alcoholics.

If you find that you cannot quit drinking after deciding to do so, then you may need help. That help can come in a variety of ways, from professional counselling to AA meetings. You may also need to address background issues that make you turn to alcohol.

thanks everyone i appreciate your kind and encouraging words.... i am not doing well i stopped drinking for a day and went right back to chugging bottles. maybe i need AA. i have a therapist but not sure she understands how bad the issue really is and how serious it is for someone like me. i am bi polar, borderline personality, and severe deppression. i was sexually abused as a kid and had alot of bad things happen to me.

Know that you are not alone. You are important and need to care for yourself. I was in a similar place and found help they AA. It saved my life to learn ways to live life without a drink.

Prayers from here to there

1is2many

I hope you can find some Peace!

My prayers are with you also.

God Bless

thankyou

Hi. I am BP too and what you are saying sounds so much like me. I drank shots just to get drunk and started to look at beer and wine the same way you do. I would drink them as fast as possible to get that feeling. I knew I needed to stop when I started lying about how much I was drinking and how often I was drunk. I couldn't do it on my own so I started AA and that really helped me. I am now 107 days sober and I think my meds and everything are working better I am swinging with my moods much less now. Wishing you all the best!

I struggled with this question myself for a long time. I thought that because I wasn't as bad as my alcoholic siblings, and somewhat on par with my peers/friends, that I was okay. The truth is that rock bottom is different for everyone. I realized I had an alcohol problem when I found I was using it to cope with family issues and my depression. Another red flag for me was that I kind of obsessed over it. I was pre-occupied with drinking even if I wasn't drinking.

I guess you should ask yourself honestly if YOU think you have a problem? Is alcohol harming you? Is it making your life worse? Can you stop?