Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I am new here...but I would really like to connect with someone that has or is experincing what I am going through. I have been married for 18 1/2 years. My husbands drinking cost him his job 4 1/2 years ago...he has not contributed to the house hold since. We have no children...thank God. not that I don't like children, I am just glad they don't have to experince this.
The last two years has gotten worse and worse. When he drinks he comes home and will start arguements about anything...even things that didn't happen...he creates things in his mind. He yells...really aggresive...sometimes, I can't get away from him by going to another part of the house as he will follow me and just get into my face. He breaks things, kicks doors in, breaks windows, car windows, puts holes on the walls.
I can always tell when he has the "ITCH" to drink as I call it. He will find an acuse why he has to leave the house...and no matter what you say he is going to go anyone. He stays up raging all night, basting music so loud, cooking at 1am-2am....throwing food everywhere. Calling me names. He will keep me awake all hours of the night...often times when I need to get up for work the next morning.
Does anyone else here experince this? what do you do? what is your advice?
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Now, no kids and he hasn’t worked in 4 years and you’re staying with him why?
Time to move on. You have lots of life ahead of you and you don’t need to be a victim anymore.
You need alot of support for yourself and alanon is a great place to find that support. You can google meetings in your area.
Also, this group here may get you more replies as it is very active:
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/wives-of-alcoholics
We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
God Bless
Your husband has more problems that alcoholism. The raging and physical lashing out are coming from somewhere deeper and darker. The alcohol just frees those impulses and/or removes whatever restraint is there otherwise.
You are an abuse victim. You should seek help and find a safe harbor to get some distance.
may the force be with you.
I would take @Melody100’s advise in finding a local Al-Anon group. They also teach you about our own behaviors, responses, reactions, boundaries, etc. that enable the addict/alcoholic to continue what they’re doing. I had to learn about me and how take care of myself. It was eye-opening. When you live with an alcoholic, you are a hostage. You will never be allowed to be yourself in that environment. They are always the victim because they are the victim of their addiction. You are in a very abusive situation. I hate to say it, but it will never get better. @pietro84 is right, there are underlying issues your husband has and obviously has never dealt with. If he ever does get help, it would be years and years of recovery, but that’s something he would have to decide to do on his own after hitting rock bottom. If and when HE ever gets tired of being sick and tired, he possibly might do something to change his life.
If you decide to leave, do you have a safe place to go? I can guarantee he won’t make it easy on you. My ex contested and drug it out for an entire year. It was very expensive and not pleasant, but definitely worth it. I’m so glad you reached out and decided to share and open up. My advise would be this: be smart and have a plan. You don’t want to have to go back to the house for any reason. I pray that you get the help and support you need to take care of you and your future. May God bless you.