Hi

      I have been with my boyfriend/fiance for almost 10 years.  He has always been a drinker but he goes through stages of just a beer or two a night to drinking from the time he wakes up till he passes out.  I have 2 children from a previous marriage one away at college and one in High school and then we have a four year old together.  When he found out I was pregnant he said he was going to stop drinking smoking and doing pills.  He was a marine so he went to the VA hospital for Detox and a treatment program.  He came out and it lasted about a month.  My son was born and he has just been drinking more and more since.  He was doing lots of prescription pills and anything he could really get his hands on and then about 8 months ago he lost his job.  Of course he lost this job ( as he did every other job he has ever had) not because of his drinking but because everyone there is "out " for him "jealous " of him or what ever excuse it is at the time.  I might have believed that if it was the first time but he has had so many jobs and he loses every one and it is never his fault.  My step dad got him this job before he passed away and it was such a good opportunity for him to make good money and be trained for a trade.  Of course he calls out so much but thinks its all the company and that he busts his ass and they are just looking for reasons to get rid of him.  I worked with him before and see how he is and was surprised they kept him as long as he did.  I feel like maybe the alcohol and drugs has caused him to lose all sense of reality and all of his real life coping skills.  He seems like he does not do anything unless told and cant figure out simple day to day life problems.  Every problem is a disaster and a reason for him to be stressed and then to drink.  Could this be from the excessive years of drinking?  When we met i was going trough a divorce and at the time was drinking alot but I have never been a drinker and if i have a glass a wine once a month that is alot.  He used to be so kind to me, supportive a good listener and someone I could always go to if i was upset, sad or wanted to feel better about a situation.  It all changed when I got pregnant.  You would think it would of drawn us closer but it basically caused him to distance himself.  He loves our son and he means everything to him but he is still drinking.  He went into rehab for 45 days and that was the toughest days for our 4 year old son as he didn't understand why his daddy was away so long.  They are so close and my son looks up to him and is forever wanting to spend time with his dad and do things with his dad.  I can say he does what he can with our son and shows him lots of love but the alcohol really gets in the way to the point that now our 4 year old is begging him to not drink beer and is becoming used to daddy just passing out that he now rolls him to his side and covers him up.  All i can think is if someone happens to his dad he would be devastated and i dont see how my finance can not see that.  I am at a loss for what to do.  His family knows he has these problems and ive gone to them for help and they just say well he has to want to help himself there is nothing anyone can do but i dont want to spend my life unhappy, sad and alone while i wait for him to "decide " to get sober.  They have told him he needs to take Paxil, Abilify and other meds to get him out of the depression and they gave him naltrexone which will make him not want to drink but he refuses to take any of it.  When he does stop drinking for a day or two he is depressed, mean and just lays in bed.  I have told him to leave this house and he says he is but then just does not leave.  I do not know what to do and at this point looking for help or ideas any where i can.