@ gim My statement "I certainly don`t plan on hiding in there the rest of my life.

Your Statement "If you think your just "hiding out" in meetings"

Now what part of my statement says that I`m hiding out in meetings. Do you not comprehend what you read or do you like to bend facts and make statements that are not true.

May I suggest you work your own program and I`ll work mine. If I need someone to take my inventory, I`ll see to it that you`ll be the first one I`ll ask.

Gim in answer to your question, I sometimes get called on to share and I politely decline. I just can't get my thoughts organized so would rather listen to others share.

God Bless!

Bob, I can relate to what your saying about listening when your thinking and thoughts aren't in sync better than talking BS for sure.
Listening is a gift for a lot of us.

Gnon, thanks for the reply but there will be no need to ask to take your inventory if ya ever need it seems like you have this whole deal figured out. Wish ya the best for long term sobriety.

There is nothing wrong sitting and listening-active listening is sometimes more tiresome and takes more work that blabbing....it depends.

I love a good listener-not someone sitting passively daydreaming, but listening truly. It is so rare.

Bob...I really relate to how you are feeling. My first year it was like I was bursting to talk and "unburden" myself. After working with my sponsor I felt less and less a need to "share" unless I had something positive or perhaps an example of how I used the steps or tools to work thru something that I used to drink over. Today If someone says something that hits me I'll go up afterward and talk with them and let them know I appreciated what they had to say. However I don't feel it is necessary I share each and every time I go.

Here's the thing Bob, and it's only my own experience with sharing in meetings or telling my story in front of a group. I wouldn't either. For years I didn't share. And for me it was all fear based. I kept declining and I moved further and further away from the meetings and the people. I was a mess. Sober, but a bundle of fear and anxiety.

I had to face the fear when I came back. I had to do things differently. And that meant speaking when asked to. It always sounds convoluted in our own heads, Bob. Doesn't mean it sounds that way to others. And if it does, so what?

I don't know if your experience is the same as mine. But if it is, maybe say Yes the next time you are asked.

Sad News About Someone Else

People in 12 step recovery groups all over the world were saddened to learn this week of the death of one of their members, Someone Else.
Someone's passing creates a vacancy that will be difficult to fill.
Else has been with us for many years. Someone did far more than a normal person's share of the work.
Whenever there was a job to do, a subcommittee or a meeting to attend, one name was on everyone's list, " let someone else do it".
It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the largest givers in our fellowships. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed that Someone Else would make up the difference. Someone Else was a wonderful person-- sometimes appearing superhuman, but a person can only do so much. Were the truth known, everybody expected too much from Someone Else. Now Someone Else is gone! Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow, but who is going to follow it? When you are asked to help, remember- we can't depend on Someone Else !!!

God Bless...

Lionel

What I find that works best when actively sharing in any group is to stick to our own stories, stay on topic and not make another member of the group "The Topic" It has a tendency to raise the Devil..

The whole purpose of the program is to enable the member to find a power greater than himself by which they can live and no longer be dependent on the group. No human power could relieve our alcoholism. God could and would if He were sought, thus inactive .

...Gnon

I get what you all are saying and I appreciate your suggestions. This DS group reminds me of my home group, which is a combination of newbies, and members with many years of sobriety who have so much knowledge and wisdom, I hang on their every word.

I use to think I knew it all but now I know I have alot to learn!

God Bless

serenity?

Bob interesting you mention knowledge and wisdom. A guy with over 30 years reminded me of the fact that its not just a long life, or age, or years of sobriety that brings knowledge and wisdom. He shared this in group the other day....and then I was listening to a high school student on after the meeting on the way to work.

http://www.kqed.org/a/perspectives/R201202270735

I've heard amazing wisdom from the very young, including my children ages 3-8!