AA didn't really get me sober but it helped me stay sober. What got me sober was when I lost my job, my wife kicked me out and I had no place to go. Somehow I ended up in detox, (I think a cop took me there) at the hospital, and 4 days later, I was refered to an outpatient treatment program. 3 weeks later, I went into relapse prevention group counseling. Throughout all my treatment AA meetings were a requirement, so I had to go. I had horrible anxiety about going to that first meeting but I also knew I was using that anxiety as an excuse not to go so I could continue drinking like a fish.

After I got a sponser and did the steps, I experienced a peace and happiness that I never knew existed!

That was 8 years ago. Today, I continue to live my life by the 12 steps and I have never been happier.

I hope and pray you can find your path to recovery as I did.

God Bless!

Until you are ready to rejoin AA, stay in prayer and fasting... but take it seriously. use the time to communicate to God on a 1 on 1 level, but while you pray and fast in your intimate time, which should be done daily, I also recommend that you continue to use resources like these online to express and communicate your concerns and frustrations - There are many people online waiting to help other just like you - remember we are in these together. Also, since you being around people makes you anxious, take the time to invest in yourself by reading.... read positive material that will uplift and encourage your spirit and help you with you fight. ...at least until you are able to rejoin some meeting eventually... at least some times at some AA meetings.

If you're sober AGAIN it means tha whatever helped you before, stopped working.

Only you know if AA is right for you or not. If you want a program that can work, go to AA.

There are other methods as well.

AA helped me get sober, and more importantly the people there-who I never thought I'd like to care about-keep me sober.

I don't have a god that helps me quit drinking. I have me, which is my higher power, and a fellowship of millions of alcoholics worldwide to help stay focused.

But nobody can tell you whether AA is right for you.

I started drinking again after 5 years of sobriety. I'm pretty much of a loner and also stubbornly independent. So when my thoughts turned to drinking again I didn't reach out to anyone for help.
Just as AA is for some, God is a help for others. This online support seems to be a good outlet for support, and will use this place to reach out to until I find support through church or AA if I get the courage to go to a meeting.

You may try the book by Craig Beck "The Fastest Way To Control Alcohol". I listened to it and it helped me stopped. That and several other things. It was the last and gave me that final nudge to stop.
I have never been to AA meeting, this is all new to me.
May we all find the help we need
No Alcohol for me today.

Thanks for the info Garagecat. I've seen web site and was curious, but was a bit apprehensive. It sounds like it's worth checking out.

AA helped me to not be aloner and reduced my anxiety around people. It sort of is like a mental workout. I couldn't do it on my own

There are others like life ring and smart recovery but for me aa was able to make me work out my reasons why I drank.

The way for me to recover was to look the disease in the eye and stand up to it.

Best in your journey, again

1-2

Yes, there are other options out there. Many people on this board have gotten sober without AA. It wasn't for me, personally, and it doesn't work for all people.
There is SMART recovery, in-patient rehab services, individual counselling (very helpful), Allen Carr's book "Stop Drinking Now" has worked wonders for many, and many on-line support groups.
Good luck:)
Jen

Sorry - forgot to mention....if you like the actual AA program but just didn't want to face the social aspect of it they do offer meetings on-line. You could catch the support that way if you so choose.

AA did not help me. I found that it was a hinderance to my sobriety because it is a path that I do not follow. I don't have a higher power. I did it by myself.
I found online groups like DS the better than live meetings. Often at live meetings the group centers around a particular person, who has problems that I don't have. I learn nothing from the meeting. Here on line, I just ignore posts that are of no help to me. I don't read many of the AA guys posts.

There are other online groups Life Ring is a secular online group. one.Find what fits you. Be it live or online.

There are lots of others you can look into. All you need to do is look on the internet for recovery groups in your area, or ask a Dr, or look in the yellow pages under addictions. Wish you all the best.

Hi Sheri,

In reading what you wrote, I see something important. You get anxious around people.
Before you read on I BEG you to know that there are thousands of people who feel exactly how you feel right now and thousands of people who used to feel that way and no longer do.

Lets look at this drinking thing for a minute. How did we end up with a drinking problem while others didnt?
Heres are some of the things Ive heard: Were broken. We have an addictive personality. Were not happy. We need an escape. We dont like how it feels when were sober and the list goes on.
I feel that there are better explanations which are:
We weren't getting what we needed which makes us uncomfortable. We found a way around it that made us feel a little better and less uncomfortable. But we only felt better when we drank, so over time, we started to drink more. The end result is that we trained ourselves to drink when we were uncomfortable. It worked to a degree in the beginning but then it stoped working. At this point the problem is we are very well trained to drink when we are uncomfortable, even though we are not getting the same result we used to get. The training created a habit which is a whole different topic in itself. Habits are extremely powerful and the more we understand them the easier it is to change them. I will give you resources at the end.

A second reason why we can become uncomfortable is because we feel that people do not understand us or we are too embarrassed to share certain things about ourselves. This can be related to our past, current thoughts or current actions. There are some very valid reasons people do not want to share certain things which range from criminal to just crazy or weird. This problem is not completely our fault as society has a big role in it. Unfortunately, society wont fix it for us and we dont need them too. This is a topic in itself too.

I can write many more reasons that make us uncomfortable but the result is still the same, uncomfortable.

When you feel uncomfortable that means one of two things. Your mind is in the past or it is in the future. I created two personal quotes for myself and for everyone else:
Leave the past where it is, behind you.
The future does not exist, nor should your attention to it.

All of the negative feelings that drive us in a negative way can not physically exist in the moment. Thats not my design but just how it is.

When you feel anxious pay attention to what youre thinking about then stop thinking completely. Easier said than done but once you start to feel the effect of this, things will start to get better and it will become easier to do. The easiest way to get the ball rolling on not thinking at all is what they teach in Yoga. Focus on your breathing. Breath in and pay attention to your lungs filling with healthy air then exhale and pay attention to the exhale. Then do it a few more times.
When you pay complete attention to your breathing you are completely in the moment.

So you feel anxious around people, right? Thats okay. Take note of what youre thinking about when youre around people so you can start to become aware of whats going on in your mind thats making you anxious.

One last thing is to never underestimate the power of people's energy. If you are in a room filled with a bunch of people who are anxious, it is not uncommon for someone take on that anxious energy as if it were their own. Especially if you are person that is sensitive to energy as I am.
I can walk into a Starbucks feeling great and leave feeling all twisted up because I picked up some bad energy from someone standing online next to me.
Again, this is a complete topic in itself and I only mention it for one reason. Stay away from negative people because you can not avoid the negative energy.
Surround yourself with as many positive people as you can because you can not avoid the positive energy as well.

Are there alternatives to AA? Yes there are but AA does successfully address the reasons why were having problems. If you dont want to go to AA because youre anxious around people just look at that for a minute and see if you can come up with some reasons why youre anxious around people. I am far from an AA cadet but if you find the right group then your anxiety should lessen when youre around them.

The books, or in my case audiobooks because I hate reading, that I think youll find helpful are: 1 The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
2 The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
3 The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

I was hesitant to give you 3 books because it always seems like a lot of whatever but just read or listen to The Power of Habit first so you can get a better understanding as to why we have this drinking problem. Youll feel better just understanding how habits come to be and what and how you can change it.

I hope you found this helpful and you will be okay. Trust me.

R

Wow, thank you. You gave me a lot to absorb. And a lot of myself to delve into. As I took a walk around a park earlier this morning, I was seriously looking at why I am anxious around people. There is a combination of fear and no trust. Again. Lot to look at about myself. But better to work at this puzzle called 'me', than being stuck in what feels like the quicksand of alcohol.

I though I posted this yesterday but apparently I didn't...

My pleasure and I'm sorry to have dumped so much on you like that.
Ask yourself what you ultimately want. Most people don't actually know or you'll hear the quick "money" or "I want to be happy" response.
Money is what it is.
Happy is a broad term but here's my thought on happy as an example.
Happiness in its simplest form is when you spend more of your time doing things you enjoy than things you don't enjoy.
The result from that is dramatic because it affects every part of you. You become a better version of yourself, more giving, more understanding, more peaceful, more patient and so on.

The result from that is people react and respond to you better, you attract more positive people, you attract better situations and opportunities and so on.

And finally, the end result is, you find yourself in a position to receive what we all need.

Certainty - Knowing what to expect next. Comfort. Peace of mind.

Variety / Uncertainty - Mystery of the unknown. Surprises. This feeds curiosity and people's need to push further to see whats next or possible.

Significance - Feeling needed, important or special.

Love / Connection - Self explanatory.

Growth - Getting to the next level. Not being stagnant.

Contribution / Giving back - Helping others and giving. One of the most rewarding things one can do.

Me writing this to you helps me to fulfill all 6 things.
Certainty by knowing I will feel good for attempting to help even if its not helpful. That gives me some comfort.
Variety and uncertainty awaiting a response to my message once I send it.
Significance, assuming I get a positive response because it makes me feel special or appreciated.
A connection which you and I now have as small as it may be.
Growth because I researched a few things in order to send an accurate message and lastly, contribution and giving back with no strings attached.

The best way to help yourself is to help someone else. If you only set out to do that than the ripple effect would be unreal.

I was really trying to be short and sweet but Im not great at that.

R