I'll tell you what worked for me, Bob. When I came back 2.5 years ago, I took it all in like I was brand spanking new. Not that I completely forgot all I learned all those years, but the humility it took to walk back into the rooms and admit I didn't know SHIT was a like a huge weight lifted.

You're getting another shot. Not everyone does.

Bob, do what you need to do but AA, for me, is very clearly about Alcohol. When we talk about alcohol as a seperate problem, there are good reasons for this.

Have you read the relevant literature on this? 12 and 12 Tradition 3? Alcohol and Other Problems? The AA Member and Medication?

To me, you're a sober guy with a gnarly thumb. Good that you're mindful of your other difficulties and their connection to booze, but baby. And bathwater come to mind.

P

You just had a nasty injury. You probably just done what any normal person would of done. It happens especially with the pain you were in. I don't think you have a reason to be guilty.
If I injured my finger like you did they better be giving me pain meds!!

How did you abuse them Bob? If you don't mind sharing that is.

@creature, alcoholics and drug addicts are not normal people. This is life or death for most of us. Sure people may need pain medication, but when not taken as prescribed, that's abusing them and can lead down a deadly path for someone who was addicted to them.

As Bob said, that was his drug of choice. Dangerous ground.

I agree with whos2say it's like a alcoholic being prescribed alcohol,and well you know how things can get spiraling out of control.

Welcome back. Its hard to admit that you you made a mistake and all to easy to say "I screwed up, so I may as well screw up some more". Crazy ain't we.

Four years down the drain! Not really, you were clean and sober, much better than four years of hangovers. You have reset your trip counter on life's dash board and started a new journey

I'm with Texas. I could barely look at the picture of your finger - you went through a lot recently.

You needed something to get through the pain. You are in control and now that you are healing, you can count down another 4 years.

You are being too hard on yourself - celebrate the 4 years and the great courage to begin again.

Good for you recognizing and admitting it. Onward and upward.

Bob admits he abused them and is being honest. God that is hard! Don't let this get downplayed-dangerous territory. I could lose my legs and probably not be justified in holding my own pain meds. And taking them would trigger me-no doubt about it-no matter what was in pain. I wonder what the heck I would do if I HAD to take them.....I love them so.....

It sucks!

Onward and upward indeed.

Yes, my drug of choice was being an asshole. Without Tradition 3 and my PRIMARY PURPOSE I would never have got out of the box.

Sometimes, with the best of intentions we make things complicated.

Still congrats for facing it Bob.

Those four years were NOT down the drain! They were four years of honesty, courage and growth and NOTHING can change that. You had an accident, pain and a slip, now you're back on track. I admire you!

Thanks for all the nice responses. I'll have to save these and read them again when I feel a cloud of discouragement hanging over my head.
I think someone asked the details. It was a day of pure hell which I will surely never forget. Although I was given all the narcotics I wanted, nothing really had any affect. My tolerance was so high and even the EMT commented that he gave me enough to put down a horse. All the subsequent prescriptions I had while recuperating at home were controled by my wife. She would give them to me one at a time which again, did not help and I would save them up untill I had a handful. I don't know if I wanted to stop the pain or get lit one last time. I think it was the latter as hard as it is to admit it.

It's just that having that stuff is way too big of a trigger for me. I understood triggers and I knew that and I did it anyway. I am also going through a divorce as well so my support system is weak atm.

Thanks again for all the nice replies!

don't beat yourself up bob. you are being honest with yourself. dust yourself off and just do it!

Bob, youdon't need no 24 hour chip, brother. Taking a few more pain pills than perscribed ain't shit. It's not like you picked up a 1.75 litre of vodka and went on a bender for a couple of weeks, hit rock bottom again, and were forced to come crawling back to AA and the world of recovery. You never left it, in my opinion. You're 4 years in recovery in my book