Oh my, that sounds like a lot. Wishing you peace in this difficult time.

What has helped me and a lot of people on here to stop drinking is inpatient detox, outpatient or inpatient rehab, AA, support groups like Daily Strength, SMART recocery, yoga, journaling and finding your own personal spirituality.

I can't speak for everyone here as i know some of them disagree with me, but as for me I have found trading in my alcoholism for cannabis and just smoking marijuana when I want alcohol to be effective for 1.76 years of alcohol abstinence. it's called harm reduction and it does work for some people.

Only you know what is the best path for you and choose wisely. you have come to the right place. This board is a great resource and gives a lot of struggling people support. i hope you find what you need here.

I agree with the suggestions in Andrea's second paragraph, but feel the canabis suggestion ill advised. Getting stoned on weed versus wasted on alcohol is not a solution, but a transfer of addictions. To give yourself the full benefit of sobriety, one needs to be totally free of any such chemicals influencing your mind, body and soul.

If willpower isn't sufficient to get you through these tough times you're enduring, look to the available support and counseling services for help. AA is available in most communities and after visiting a couple different meetings you're likely to find one that aligns with your beliefs and objectives.

Wishing you success and please keep us informed of your progress!

Robert

Just know one clear fact. Drinking alcohol will not help you, it will hurt you. It always works that way, no exceptions. There is no easy way out. You have some clear issues and concerns to deal with. We all do. Stick with this group and we will help you get through to the other side without using alcohol for a temporary escape.

Hello newalco,

You are in a bad place now but so many have been there before and have come through to a brighter future and so can you.

Lifes difficulties can make drinking seem like an easy solution but as you probably know only too well, it stops working eventually and then there is only misery. The past is gone and you cannot change it so there is no point in being ashamed about that. The present is where you can take control of your destiny and shape a better future.

You have asked about what has helped others and I can tell you about my experience with that. For me, I had to concede to my innermost self that I am an alcoholic and that is something most people resist for as long as possible. Whatever about the pros and cons of Alcoholics Anonymous, going to a meeting was of immediate help to me. I did not understand alcoholism at the time and the fact that I could not stop drinking despite my best efforts made no sense to me. I learned too that there was a solution to the problem and there was a glimmer of light where there had been no hope. Therefore, acceptance is the starting point on the road to recovery. You have probably admitted many times that you have a problem but have you fully accepted that you cannot drink safely?

Once you accept that the problem exists it becomes easier to apply a solution. This solution often requires a drastic change in the way of thinking a personality change where it relates to alcohol. Bringing about this change of thinking is not an easy matter and it often requires outside help. Therefore, if you can come to accept that you cannot drink, my next suggestion to you is to be prepared to do whatever it takes in order to get sober. There are many paths to sobriety discussed on various threads here on DS so find one that suits you. When I lost control over alcohol I was not aware of various other options that I could have explored and I went to an AA meeting as it seemed to be the only show in town. I regard the decision to go to that meeting as the best one that I have ever made and it has been a big turning point in my life.

I know someone who has just been where you are now and the shame and regret can be overwhelming. Those are natural emotions but they dont really achieve anything. There comes a time when the cork has to be put back in the bottle and the journey to better things starts off once again. There is always a temptation to put it off until tomorrow but that just doesnt work. Therefore, my final suggestion to you is to take an honest look at where you are and to make this your turning point. There are options for you and one of them is to go to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, armed with an open mind and a willingness to learn.

You need alot of support!

When I went through my divorce, I started going back to AA meetings. It helped me tremendously! As fate would have it, things didn't work out for my ex and her lover so about eventually she wanted me back but thanks to the support I received through AA, I had the emotional strength to say no.

3 years later, my ex and I get along better now then we ever did. We are the best of friends!

I have found it to be true that when one door closes, another one opens leading us to a better place!

God Bless!

It's not a moral issue. When I drink I was able to escape from the " BAD" things in life. But I eventually got to where I had to have a drink all day every day. Then it stopped working because I had to keep drinking more and more.

There is a solution. I was so deject d I was going to kill myself. I was so sad to just be alive. I went to my first meeting and that was 3 years ago. I found people that wanted to help and learned how to live life again. I am living a miracle. It's possible. Cmon!

1is2many

At least Andrea said abstinence. The notion she is sober is ridiculous.

Newalco, AA can help a lot of people, including myself. You may want to try it.

Don't trade one drug for another. Numbing yourself with alcohol or drugs won't make your bad situation go away, it will make it worse. And if your child's father is in jail, then he/she needs you more than ever. This group here is a great support - get on DS several times a day. Talk to people, tell them when you're feeling week, and ask for help like you did with this post. I've only been in this site for a few weeks, but it has truly saved my life.

One of the members recommended Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way to Quit Drinking". I've read it and re-read it a couple of times until what he was saying sunk in. I'm 10 days sober, but for the first time in a long, long time I can honestly say I don't want to drink. There are a lot of tools and suggestions in this group - keep trying until you find one that works for you.

I am so sorry you are going through this especially difficult time, which has only been fortified by drinking.
What helped me was adopting and owning a new outlook on life; one that made no room for drinking as a means to escaping or "coping". For myself, it wasn't enough to "be sober"; I had to LIVE sober, which meant facing the highs and lows in my life without alcohol. Life is about experiences--the good and the bad--so I was destined to have many opportunities to try out this new approach to life, at the very get-go.
To be free from alcohol means never resorting to it, no matter what. NO excuses.
Struggle thrives off resistance; when I accepted my darker chapters for what they were (always remembering that in time they would be and that here would be highs during and plenty after it concluded), a great deal of the struggle instantly subsided. Yes, it meant I had to experience the pain--al of it--without any numbing effect, but when I weighed that against where and how I would be had I began drinking again, it was a far better choice.
I have really had some lows myself, since getting sober a year ago. But with each day comes promises for change and to be back on top, and enjoying life sober and alive; experiencing life in all its potency.
I had to summon my most courageous self during these trying times as a newly sober person. But now that I have evidence that I can do it, I can also say that I have witnessed and lay testimony to what I can overcome and conquer. You can do the same if you just give yourself the chance to try.
As far as I can see, that is the only solution--that and surrounding myself with loved ones who most sincerely wish to see me well and happy, but insist on being there or me when I am not.
I hope you cut the drinking out sooner rather than later, before it really digs its talons in your deep again.

Peace for you,

Sosa

"The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude." Saw that at your latest status. I like that...I will have to remember that for myself.
It's hard not to do early on like this, but focusing on the problem means you are not focusing on the solution.
There are many healthy and far more effective ways to seek solace during this difficult time; being gentle and kind to yourself. Filling your life with things you enjoy and finding new ones. Listing all the things you are grateful for, the blessings and the good things go right in your life.
I love my daily jogs with my music, and also I overindulge on my sorbets and chocolate sauce in the evening with my favorite programs. It's part of my evening routine now, and I really look forward to it--it's something to pull me through when the days are long and hard.
Put the bottle down and allow yourself options--far better ones.

Hi there -- Just coming here and posting was a good thing that you did for yourself and your kids. I am only 33 days sober, but going to AA every day as well as working out (almost every day) has helped me tremendously. I would never in a million years think that I would ever be a person that needed much less wanted AA. I needed it but more importantly, I finally wanted it and sought it out. Just like anything, there are really solid groups and there are dysfunctional groups. If you don't like the vibe of one group, try another one. And keep coming back here! :) HUGS and SUPPORT, PG

Parth, great share. Kudos on 33 days.

I am sorry you are going through this, I don't wish divorce on my worse enemies.

However, drinking is not going to solve any of these issues. What you need to do now is stay focused and commit to the resolve it will take to see you through these issues without alcohol. How else can you stand up for yourself, put your best foot forward and stay focused and calm during this tough time. Alcohol will only make matters more difficult in the long run. Kick it to the curb.

Thank you all for the wonderful words of encouragement!