Adoption Support Group

Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.

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Adoption....scared

deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband and I have gone through hell the last 5 years dealing with infertility. We always agreed we would adopt regardless of the outcome of our infertility treatments. So now that the infertility chapter is completed....it took waaaaaay longer than we had planned and now I'm 39 and my husband is 44. I'm just thinking do i really still want to go down this road? Are we too old? Our lives would be sooo different, obviously. My step-kids are now both in their early twenties so my husband would be starting all over again (which we discussed pretty early on in our relationship).
I don't know what to do anymore. I've been in this mode of no-kids thing for so long, it's just hard to shift gears in my brain. I guess what i'm saying is have I gotten to that age where i've been selfish for so long being able to do whatever i want whenever i want, do i want to change that?
There's just so much going on in my brain.

I've read some of the posts in this group and it seems to be a mix of people who have been adopted, paretns who have adopted, etc. Are there people here that have proceeded with adoption after failed infertility treatments??

How did you get over just the thought of not having your own biological children?

How do I know adoption is right for me and my husband?

Why do some people choose international vs American adoptions? I understand some are preference but are there reasons why people maybe can't adopt from the US?

I'm so new to this and there's just so much inforamtion and questions it's hard to know where to start.

Thanks so much for your help
deleted_user
deleted_user
We are fostering to adopt through our local social services dept right now. And we chose to do that for a couple reasons. For one, adoption is just so stinkin expensive that it would take us years to save enough to even start the process. Fostering allows us to have a child in our home and work on the adoption process at the same time. Actually we have three placed with us right now that we hope get to be adopted (one looks really promising, however, the twins we have looks a bit concerning right now). And we decided to do this instead of overseas because there are so many children locally who need parents to love them. We brought our son home from the NICU when he was only 5 weeks old.
Don't feel like you're selfish. You just want to make sure you are making the right decision.
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