Hi I'm a man I want to remain celibate until I find a meaningful relationship and if I never do then I don't want to have sex ever again, honestly. I hooked up a few days ago and not only do I believe that it's immoral the sex is bad sex and it left me feeling worthless, guilty and ashamed. Has anyone else gone through this? These women have been the ones to ask me for sex but I blame myself as I said yes.
I think society pushes sex on us and outside of a meaningful relationship it's mistake. I guess I get frustrated I'm in my early 40s but hooking up is not the answer.
I doubt the woman got pregnant she was 47 but if she did I don't believe in abortion and I'll be with her and raise the child, but I've looked at statistics on that the chance of that happening is low very low, much less than 5% I'd say from internet resources. I know at least I should have used a condom I don't need to be beat up for that. I've been for std testing in the past and it was all negative before I do promise I will go again.
I just want to stay celibate and if I choose to get into relationships I want them to be celibate for a very long time. I'm fully prepared to stay celibate for life, I've only hooked up twice but I hope after hooking up a second time ( the last time was 2 years ago) I have finally learnt my lesson.
Maybe I need a spiritual religious conversion. If anyone can help support me and suggest resources I'd very much appreciate it. I deleted dating apps those are toxic and anyone in my state of mind I suggest you do the same. I could use an adult filter for my phone and notebook I believe watching pornographic videos have lead me down this path too.
I'm just feeling down in the dumps and don't feel comfortable talking with friends or family on this I need your support from this community.
(TW) I've been battling with this for over a week now. A friend here on DS told me I should say this in group. When I was 9 my dad started being sexually abusive and he would also let his friends rape for money. Sometimes it was more than 1 at a time. In between, he kept me locked up. I got pregnant by one of them and I had a son when I was 10, premature, barely able to breathe poor little guy...
This is my first post in awhile. My partner and I are separating. He is leaving. I remain in our rental house with one dog. He takes the car. I realize he is at war- with himself and others. I do not do that anymore. That is part of enabling and addiction. He is now free to follow his path and his mission. I can continue to heal and clear the negativity. There are casualties of war. This...