A Laughter Club Community Group
We would like to invite you to join our group! A Laughter Club is for people who understand just how serious a matter humor is to one's survival and even to one's success in life. We share jokes, riddles, short stories, and other laughter-provoking thoughts. We have one simple rule: If you wouldn't say it to a child because it contains inappropriate...
There once was a young man named Paul
Who went to a fancy dress ball;
He thought he would risk it,
And go as a biscuit,
But the dog ate him up in the hall!
First Dog: Ruff, ruff! My name is "Bad Dog, Bad Dog!" What is your name?
Second Dog: Grrr! My name is "Down, Boy!"
Sal: Are you a mad dog on a chain?
Val: No, of course not, silly.
Sal: Well, then - help, help, mad dog on the loose!
Please feel free to add your dog humor here. : - )
Who went to a fancy dress ball;
He thought he would risk it,
And go as a biscuit,
But the dog ate him up in the hall!
First Dog: Ruff, ruff! My name is "Bad Dog, Bad Dog!" What is your name?
Second Dog: Grrr! My name is "Down, Boy!"
Sal: Are you a mad dog on a chain?
Val: No, of course not, silly.
Sal: Well, then - help, help, mad dog on the loose!
Please feel free to add your dog humor here. : - )
Did you hear about the dog who played Bach? He was about to be auditioned by a tv producer. The dog's agent warned the producer that this was a very sensitive dog, and that "you had better listen to him play because, if you don't, he loses his temper and leaps at you".
The dog started to play. He was awful. The tv producer patiently waited out the performance. When it was over, he declared angrily," I should have let him attack. I'm sure his Bach is worse than his bite,"
... at Vet's office: "Be Back in 5 Minutes. SIT!, STAY!"
.... on fence "Salesmen Welcome ... Dog food is expensive"
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Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a! dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it! up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
"Help Wanted. Must Type 70 Words A Minute. Must Be Computer Knowledgeable. Must be bilingual. An equal opportunity employer."
The dog applied for the position, but he was quickly rebuffed. "I can't hire a dog for this job," the office manager said. But when the dog pointed to the line that read, "An equal opportunity employer," the office manager sighed and asked, "Can you type?" Without saying a word, the dog typed out a flawless letter. "Can you use a computer?" the manager inquired. The dog sat down at a terminal, wrote a program, and ran it perfectly. "Look, I still can't hire a dog for this job," said the exasperated office manager. "You have fine skills, but I need someone who is bilingual. It says so right on the sign." The dog looked up at the office manager and said, "Meow!"
He asked the store manager, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yup, that's him," replied the store manager.
The amused stranger inquired, "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
The store manager responded, "Because before I posted that warning sign, people kept tripping over him."