A Laughter Club Community Group
We would like to invite you to join our group! A Laughter Club is for people who understand just how serious a matter humor is to one's survival and even to one's success in life. We share jokes, riddles, short stories, and other laughter-provoking thoughts. We have one simple rule: If you wouldn't say it to a child because it contains inappropriate...
Patient: Doctor, can you give me something for my liver?
Doctor: Certainly - here's an onion.
"Doctor, Doctor, my son just swallowed some quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies. Can you please help him?" "Absolutely," said the doctor. "Let's just bring him into the examination room and have a look." About half an hour goes by, and the doctor finally comes out. "How is my son?" asks the frantic mother. The doctor replies, "There's no change yet!"
Doctor: Face the window, please. Now stick out your tongue.
Patient: Why do I have to face the window?
Doctor: Because I don't like the man next door.
Patient: Doc, ya gotta give me something for my headache.
Doctor: Well, I'm not too fond of headaches. How about a dollar?
Patient (on telephone): Doctor, there's something very wrong with me. My head feels squashed, my voice sounds strange, I smell something peculiar, and one of my feet is cold. What could be wrong with me?
Doctor: You're probably wearing one of your socks on your head.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if your aim is good.
Doctor: Certainly - here's an onion.
"Doctor, Doctor, my son just swallowed some quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies. Can you please help him?" "Absolutely," said the doctor. "Let's just bring him into the examination room and have a look." About half an hour goes by, and the doctor finally comes out. "How is my son?" asks the frantic mother. The doctor replies, "There's no change yet!"
Doctor: Face the window, please. Now stick out your tongue.
Patient: Why do I have to face the window?
Doctor: Because I don't like the man next door.
Patient: Doc, ya gotta give me something for my headache.
Doctor: Well, I'm not too fond of headaches. How about a dollar?
Patient (on telephone): Doctor, there's something very wrong with me. My head feels squashed, my voice sounds strange, I smell something peculiar, and one of my feet is cold. What could be wrong with me?
Doctor: You're probably wearing one of your socks on your head.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if your aim is good.
Patient: Oh - I thought I would only have to pay the usual office visit fee.
Patient: Actually, I'm just rehearsing for the part of Sneezy in 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'.
Have you read 'Monsters And Other Fictional Folks'? Click on the green letter link here: www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/messages/discussions/3037004
Patient: Actually, I'm just rehearsing for the part of Sneezy in 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'.
Have you read 'Monsters And Other Fictional Folks'? Click on the green letter link here: www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/3037004
A guy goes into the doctor's office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other ear. The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?" The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you're not eating right."
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Owe, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ouch, even THAT hurts", she cried.
The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis; "You have a broken finger."
Wife: Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish.
Doctor: Don't worry I can cure him.
Wife: I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel.
Until they get it right!
Doctor: "You have too much spare time."
Electrician Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10713770
"My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, 'cough!'"
The doctor said, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."
Startled to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, "Jeez Doc, exactly what is my problem?"
The doctor replied, "You're not drinking enough water."
The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass.
Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee Stadium.
It came in handy as a letter from his employer to the cashier to increase his salary.
And to top it off, his daughter played it on the piano and won a scholarship to the Curtis Music Conservatory
Are you stringing me along?
Toy Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12771367