“When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race.”
-H.G. Wells

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live."
-Mark Twain: "Taming the Bicycle"

Mark Twain Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7840608

Q. Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?

A. The pavement.

The other day on a ride, I was speeding down a narrow, twisting, mountain road. Then along comes a man who was driving very slowly uphill toward me, honking his horn and shouting at me. "PIG! PIG!!" he yelled. "PIG! PIG!!" So I gave him a rude look and shouted back some insults as I buzzed by him. Still thinking about this awful man and his shouting, I turned the corner and promptly collided with a pig.

-Author Unknown

Pig Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7875743

“The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart.”

-Iris Murdoch: “The Red and the Green”

A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'" One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"

“For instance, the bicycle is the most efficient machine ever created: Converting calories into gas, a bicycle gets the equivalent of three thousand miles per gallon.”

-Bill Strickland: “The Quotable Cyclist”

Environmentalist And Animal Rights Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10441669

When is a bicycle not a bicycle? When it turns into a driveway.

"The bicycle will accomplish more for women's sensible dress than all the reform movements that have ever been waged."

-Author Unknown: from Demerarest's Family Magazine (1895)

Clothing And Accessories Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6455980

“The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community.”

-Ann Strong

“The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community.”

-Ann Strong

Marriage Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8493782

"Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use."

-Charles Schulz

More 'Life And Living Humor' is being planned...

An over zealous traffic cop stopped the vicar on his bicycle: After checking the bike thoroughly and finding nothing wrong he had to let the vicar go: "You will never arrest me because God is with me wherever I go" said the vicar. "Right then" (said the cop) "I’m nicking you for carrying a passenger on a single seater vehicle!"

Daisy Bell

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer, do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet
On the seat
Of a bicycle built for two!

-Harry Dacre

When Mr. Dacre came to the U.S.A. from England, he was astounded at the duty charged as a result of the bicycle he had transported. A friend chance to remark, "Luck for you it was not built for two," which gave him the idea for his famous song "Daisy Bell", which in turn started the whole cycle of bicycle songs so popular in the 1890's.

History Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8034117

Lyrics
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7515360

Daisy Bell

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer, do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet
On the seat
Of a bicycle built for two!

-Harry Dacre

When Mr. Dacre came to the U.S.A. from England, he was astounded at the duty charged as a result of the bicycle he had transported. A friend chanced to remark, "Luck for you it was not built for two," which gave him the idea for his famous song "Daisy Bell", which in turn started the whole cycle of bicycle songs so popular in the 1890's.

History Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8034117

Lyrics
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7515360