A lot of things in life are like learning to ride a bicycle: You climb on and get it moving and you try to keep your balance and you have a few unpleasant accidents in which you are more scared and humiliated than you are injured and you learn very quickly how to work the strange mechanical contraption and before you know it you're quite good at it and once you've learned how to ride a bicycle you never forget how it's done - so now you know the method to writing poetry and computer programs or making sandcastles and cinnamon scones. Let's all get out there and do the things we've been dreaming of. Get on that bicycle of life and ride, ride like the wind!

-Beaumont (Nathan Thomas Taylor)

Jack and Jill had just climbed Le Alp de Huez, one of the steepest peaks in the Alps on their tandem. "Phew, that was a tough climb" said Jill, leaning over, breathing hard. "That climb was so hard, and we were going so slow, I thought we were never going to make it." "Yeah, good thing I kept the brakes on," said Jack, "or we'd have slid all the way back down!"

Travel Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4583203

"I've really had it with my dog," said the first guy to his neighbor. "He'll chase anyone on a bicycle" "Hmmm, that is a problem," said the neighbor. "What are you thinking of doing about it?" "Guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!"

Dog Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4213703

A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway, and tied it to his bumper. He then tied the other end to the bike and told the rider that he would drive slow. Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed ahead to the another officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, "...and you're not going to believe this, but there's a guy on a 10 speed bike yelling to pass."

Law Enforcement Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5235262

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

-Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/11032127

"The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets."

-Christopher Morley

Writing And Author Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10663148

Poetry Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7399072

"Tens of thousands who could never afford to own, feed and stable a horse, had by this bright invention enjoyed the swiftness of motion which is perhaps the most fascinating feature of material life."

-Frances Willard: “How I Learned to Ride the Bicycle”

Horse Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4439920

“When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments. Here was a machine of precision and balance for the convenience of man. And (unlike subsequent inventions for man's convenience) the more he used it, the fitter his body became. Here, for once, was a product of man's brain that was entirely beneficial to those who used it, and of no harm or irritation to others. Progress should have stopped when man invented the bicycle.”

-Elizabeth West: “Hovel in the Hills”

“What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor.”
-David Perry

Doctor Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5384088

“The sound of a car door opening in front of you is similar to the sound of a gun being cocked.”
-Amy Webster

“All bicycles weigh fifty pounds. A thirty-pound bicycle needs a twenty-pound lock. A forty-pound bicycle needs a ten-pound lock. A fifty-pound bicycle doesn't need a lock.”

-Author Unknown

"Consider a man riding a bicycle. Whoever he is, we can say three things about him. We know he got on the bicycle and started to move. We know that at some point he will stop and get off. Most important of all, we know that if at any point between the beginning and the end of his journey he stops moving and does not get off the bicycle he will fall off it. That is a metaphor for the journey through life of any living thing, and I think of any society of living things."

-William Golding

If you ride you know those moments when you have fed yourself into the traffic, felt the hashed-up asphalt rattle in the handlebars, held a lungful of air in a cloud of exhaust. Up ahead there are two parallel buses. With cat's whiskers, you measure the clearance down a doubtful alley. You swing wide, outflank that flower truck. The cross-street yellow light is turning red. You burst off the green like a surfer on a wave of metal. You have a hundred empty yards of Broadway to yourself.
-Chip Brown: "A Bike and a Prayer"

Prayers And Spiritual Affirmations
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8964406

"If you ride you know those moments when you have fed yourself into the traffic, felt the hashed-up asphalt rattle in the handlebars, held a lungful of air in a cloud of exhaust. Up ahead there are two parallel buses. With cat's whiskers, you measure the clearance down a doubtful alley. You swing wide, outflank that flower truck. The cross-street yellow light is turning red. You burst off the green like a surfer on a wave of metal. You have a hundred empty yards of Broadway to yourself."

-Chip Brown: "A Bike and a Prayer"

Prayers And Spiritual Affirmations
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8964406

"The bicycle is the perfect transducer to match man's metabolic energy to the impedance of locomotion. Equipped with this tool, man outstrips the efficiency of not only all machines but all other animals as well."

-Ivan Illich: "Energy and Equity" (1974)

Science Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7943401