annienannie

About Me

I live in Nebraska. I am the mother of 3. I just lost my last child, this month. The only one left that was very dedicated to me. She is now engaged and her sister and brother have convinced her that I am a Toxic Narcissistic Mother. They have her afraid that I am going to ruin her relationship and up coming marriage. I am not sure how much influence my ex-husband has had on her as well. Maybe he will not fund her wedding if she has anything to do with me. I am a retired teacher and school psychologist. My adult children have gotten very interested in the online self-help bloggers that charge $1.00 a minute to talk to them. These people are obsessed with the word \"Narcissistic.. They have blogs that actually instruct people to WALK AWAY from their parents. My older two have decided to exclude me from their lives and my grand children. My son\'s wife died when they had their 4th child. I took care of the family for almost a year. I welcomed my son, a newborn, 3 year old, 6 year old, and 12 year old into my home knowing I had an unfaithful husband and my own marriage was in it\'s end stages. When we divorced both children sided with him because he allowed free sex, drugs and parties at his new place.. While my son was severely depressed and irrational because of losing his precious wife at the age of 30 and being alone with four children. I believe he had \"NO ONE\" but me to vent his pain and sadness to. He went through the stages of grief, refused to get counseling from a professional and during that time, his anger turned towards me. I was in my home, loving his babies, trying to get him to take on the responsibilities of being a loving Daddy. The children had lost their Mommy, they needed him. I felt that I was helping him when in his mind, he was being judged. The family stayed with me about 10 months. During that time, he had no interest in any of their lives , elementary school activities and basic needs. I felt my 1st grade grandson needed the support from his teacher and his friends. When a note came home from the teacher that during his Birthday month, he needed to brings family pictures, a favorite toy and his parents should help fill out a little survey about him. My bitter, depressed son, told the teacher he had no pictures and would not be sending anything. That was not the case. I love taking pictures!! I collected several and filled in the little survey and went to visit the teacher. I helped her put up my grandson\'s V.I.P. bulletin board. I baked cupcakes for the next day for his Birthday and brought his 4 month old baby sister for him to share. My grandson really loved the baby more than any particular toy. I did the things any mother would do for her son or her grandchildren. With very little help, I fed, bathed, dressed, took the kids to church, read bedtime stories and Loved them! Everything I could think of to show them they were loved because at that time, their daddy was not capable of loving anyone. My own marriage just got worse because my wild husband took a different approach to helping him. He chose to take him drinking, get him interested in short term relationships to get his sexual needs met. My son seemed to relate to this. I was probably too blunt with him after about 4 months. I wanted him pay attention to his kids. He spent hours on the internet researching everything from Whole World Order taking over our countries politicians to Mental Illness. He was still thinking very irrational. He thought I was glad his wife died and I wanted his kids for my own!!! After he moved his family into his own home, he had girls that would move in with him for 2-3 months and then move on. The little ones were calling them Mommy and then the girls moved out. Every time the kids came to my house, they were filthy, wearing the same clothes from several days before, no warm hats or mittens., baby with no coat. I bathed them bought several coats, new underwear and socks, clothes and sent them home clean and warm each visit. I guess that was my biggest mistake. He thought I was trying to prove he was an inept parent. I thought I was loving him and the grandbabies. About six months later, my oldest daughter started running around and partying. She determined that she had married too young and wanted her freedom. Eventually she met a guy on the internet, and took her two kids several states away, moved in with this guy with 12 kids between the ages 6-22. I feared for her life and her kids. I found out his name from her. I ran a background check. Truly, he could have been an pedophile. She only knew him from the internet Chatting. She was furious with me and agreed with her brother that I was manipulating and controlling. This happened in 2010. My son-in-law \"God Bless Him\" got a court order to have the 2 children returned to their home state. He could have sole custody until she left this weirdo and came back home. It took her about 8 months to return and get an apartment so she could have joint custody of her kids. I have a good relationship with \"HER\" ex-husband. She refuses any contact with me and when she has the kids, they cannot either. My son-in-law let\'s them call me and they come visit on his custodial time. Basically, both my eldest have gotten very involved into these internet bloggers about abusive and Narcissistic parents. I feel like they have forgotten their entire childhood of good and loving memories with a dedicated mother. I sincerely love children and it has been my lifetime career to love and teach other peoples children as well. If you haven\'t heard of these bloggers, just do a Google search on Narcissistic mothers or parents. I believe these people writing this stuff are in it for the money and our adult children are buying into the idea that if, their parents carried out standards to live by, had bedtimes, gave them chores and kept track of what their teenagers were doing, they were mean parents. Well, it has been a month since my youngest daughter told me \"I needed to get help and counseling.\" Before being accepted into graduate school for my Counseling and School Psychologist\'s degree, I had to meet their criteria and NOT have any signs of Mental Illness. I almost did not get into the program because I professed to be a Christian. As a counselor, they did not want people preaching religion rather than counseling kids. I have my degree and worked for the past 25 years. I never dreamt my youngest daughter would get brainwashed by her siblings. That\'s my story. I was planning to sew her wedding dress, do what ever I could to help with her wedding and give the new couple a reception where I was raised and with my side of the family. My heart aches... I used to have her... I know what I MUST do to keep myself from plummeting into a deep dark depression. I have started substitute teaching to stay busy. I awake every morning shaking and sad. I refuse to believe I have lost them all.