bowler08

I need winter, I need layers. I want to cover myself in bruises and not have to worry about someone seeing.  5 weeks is good, but I'm not gunna be able to stop cold turkey for the rest of my life....

I seem to be hitting highs and lows a lot more than I have in the past.  Before I would have a good 6 month to a year stretch of depression, then I would be fine or fairly happy for a while, but for...

last night I got hit by a guy running a red light going about 50 mph.  my car flipped and slide through the intersection.  I don't think I was scared for my life, everyone was surprised I made it...

I don't really have much to say tonight, but it's nice to write things down.  I ate all three meals today, which was good, and I didn't eat too much.  I'm feeling pretty good at this moment.Put a...

well, I'm going to try to look on the bright side this week.  I didn't hurt myself or binge, so I've got a full month without any sort of injuries and two weeks strong of eating right. :)  I ate a...

I got into a silent argument with my ex tonight, she wants me to be friends with the guys she talks to that she's going to date, but I recently realized that her last boyfriend that she made me talk...

So, I haven't done too great on my meals the last few days, I've been skipping and eating low calories, so I've been under my daily total.  But I haven't had time to exercise either, so I think it's...

I don't know why, but I couldn't even act happy today.  I feel like depression is rushing back over me, and I can't move.  Like I'm drowning and everything is slow..I put some consideration into...

well, my friend convinced me to drink with them last night, I've been putting it off because of my diet/restricting, so I don't really feel like eating today because of all the calories I had last...

Well, yesterday didn't turn out quite as good as I had hoped.  I woke up around 1 and had breakfast by 2, but I wasn't home all day so I couldn't cook a healthy meal for myself and I don't want to...

Didn't give in last night :D so I'm still stayin strong.  Today I woke up a little late since I don't have any classes.  I'm going to make lunch and dinner, at least, even if I missed breakfast....

My ex who is also my best friend brought up that she's been texting a guy she met on a dating site.  That's the sorta thing that makes me want to binge, purge, then hurt myself in every way possible...

Today marks the end of my fast.  I binged over the weekend, which is why I felt the need to do it.  Now that I'm out of my frenzied/worried state of mind, looking back on the weekend, I got a lot...

well, I went 12 days eating healthy, and I'm stilling staying strong on not hurting myself...I couldn't cry at my great grandma's funeral, I wanted to, but now I just feel like I'm only supposed to...

It's been a while since I last wrote anything, I've been busy.  I took on extra credit hours this semester to keep myself busy, but they're all senior/grad level classes so it's taken up a little...