Wish I'd left it alone....
I'd been getting by. The holidays were starting to get to me so I went in and looked at his Facebook page. It was stupid. I saw pictures of them together having so much fun. It broke my heart again. Once again, this is so not fair. He's having a great time with the woman he cheated on me with. And I'm sitting here alone and lonely. And now so sad I'll spend the evening trying not to cry. The first holidays without them are tough. I keep wondering- does he even think about me? Does he wonder if I'm OK or have I just faded from his mind. Heaven knows he didn't care about me when he cheated or left me. I was thinking maybe after his first fight he might wonder if he made the right decision. I dream of the time I stop thinking of him every day. Happy Thanksgiving.......
Replies
Ouch I remember when I did that after my ex whore left. Yeah u put ur hand in the fire and it still burns..now you know, don't do that! The first year is definitely hard there's no way around it. But you'll be stronger for it. God the first year walking the aisles in the grocery store with the tears as xmas music churned away, I remember very well. I also assure you it gets better and having gone through that shit Im really in no hurry to launch into another one but there's an opportunity brewing so we'll see...get comfortable being on your own first. It really is a life saver
My first Christmas was a nightmare.
Christmas Day i get a txt from ex "merry christmas". I was hit in the gut. Maybe he is missing me! I fell prey and checked OW's facebook. There was a pic of them with her 14 yr old son. All smiles - a new family. My ex left his own parents on Christmas Eve to spend the holiday with his affair partner.
I txt back "hope you are enjoying your day with your new family". I think that may be the only bitter thing I said thruout the whole breakup.
Silence.
Day before New Year's Eve I get a long rambling email --- he loves me. He made a mistake. He has broken up with her. She is nothing to him. He knows he doesn't deserve my forgiveness but will do whatever it takes.... wait as long as it takes to make it better. I get this emotional bomb while at a resort with my kids and parents. I dont have time to pee let alone deal with what that means and what I want.
So I txt back " that is a lot to take in. I need to think about it. I will contact you when I am back home in a couple of days".
New Year's Eve day I am thinking what I should do. I check her facebook again. There is a picture of them on New Years.
So, that was the end for me. Whatever door had been open a teeny tiny crack to the possibility of a reconciliation was gone.
All that to say --- your emotions are going to be all over the place. That is normal. Stay focused on what you need to support yourself!
Lonestar, I'm so sorry your feeling down. I wanted to invite you to a good social media fb page if your interested, I'm on there and it helps me a lot. I don't go all the time, but it is just meant for people who are going through heartache and just a good group of people wanting to support, You don't have to but I wanted to offer you a solution or a little nudge in another direction.
Your not alone, I too am without mine for the first Thanksgiving, and out of my home that I was with him for 4 years. I lived in the home for 8 years I left Dec 2015, so many memories, that I miss.
It's funny that I thought about this today and it was hard for me to remember if I had been with him last year for Thanksgiving, but he wasn't there, we were on one of our breakups and he was probably off doing heroin, or whatever it was that was more important at the time.
Hugs.
Relationship And Ex Relationship Advice Support Group
It's a closed group but if you want to join just Inbox me and I will give you the info there. I'm in 3 that I really like I jump back and forth to get support for what I am feeling down with at the moment, it does help.