Thoughts on...Apology (ies) (ists)
This is my first thoughts so i decided to explain apology in the effect if i piss anyone off in later thoughts.
the question asked: What is an Apologist is it:
A: A Greek God's daughter
B: A masochistic person who's regretful acknowlegement of an offence or failure in which they must kowtow or humilitae themselves
in hope for forgiveness from the affected person(s)
C: A Rapper
D: A sincere defence of ones own belief and passive acknowlegemnt of indivdual disagreements.
E: None of the above (If your a Nihlist)
F: 42 (Hitchhikers guide ultimate answer)
The answer is: D (well and E...and F)
An Apology comes from the latin word 'Aplologia': a defence of one's opinions, positions, or actions. the key word 'defence'.
An apologist is someone who has beliefs and will defend them with out attack. they wont ridicule another for thier own beliefs even if diametrically opposed.
So to use a hot-bed topic: I believe a Man should be with a Woman.
so how many read that and accused me of being a homophobic? How many agreed and felt ire towards another? How many think i hate gays now? I don't, in fact it is a non-issue to me of anothers ideals. How many now hate me because i said that? the 'Not my problem' attitude. It only becomes a problem when it affects me individually, like telling me i must teach my son something different. then i defend my belief. If my son was gay I'd love him all the same...he's my son, not a statistic.
Well, i apologize and mean that utterly sincere because i understand that i have an opinion but my opinion isn't attacking yours. It is my belief and mine alone. i dont attack any others for thier belief and that is what an apolgy used to mean. Passive acceptance in the right to disagree. to peacfully go without judgement or ridicule of anothers understanding.
I bring this up because i feel so many think of an apology as the answer B from above. You have to admit your wrong and feel failure to another, a defeat in having to accept anothers ideals or beliefs. that's not an apology but many think it is and find it damn near impossible to give one to another and continue in an argument or disagreement to the point of hostility to another. If you accept the true meaning of an apolgy then you find them much easier to give and diffuse situations into rational talking and acceptance. your not admitting thier right and your wrong. you just accpet the difference and continue in your own understanding.
Being an apologitst can defend your beliefs without warring against others. keeping them safe and secure in your heart, never used as weapons against another. the empathic power (hello O!!!! thanks for being my muse) behind a heartfelt aplogy can be blissfully cleansing to someone you have issues with and sooooo rewarding. This is what the Bible means to me when saying to forgive, not in a 'I'm right and your wrong' idea. But an understanding that we are all human and unique, love each other for who we are, never hate for what we believe...Love
Replies
PC personal computer
I have the deer in the headlights blank look about that one. Much like Trump having sex with a super model without paying $150k, I did not get it.
Oh, yea narf.
Anyhoo, this was a fun exchange and how I prefer to act in person. I am very uninhibited behind my keyboard.
I am pretty funny at times for a bricklayer's son. .haha
I go by what the CEO of the Onion once said. "In order to know what if funny, you have to know what is not funny".
If I did anything intentional or specific to one person, I would be the first to wholeheatedly apologize though. I don't want any bad blood between me and others. I am not Trump. I am a sensitive person actually. It was actually how I was raised.
Hey again Sol! I have to say that I enjoy the multiple choice component of these.
In my experience with my family apologies have basically become a power thing. It’s not even “I’m right, you’re wrong” anymore, it’s “i submit because I admit you’re better than me and I don’t want this fight to go on any longer.” When I’ve realized my wrongdoing in these spats, I used to apologize because I felt it was right, but it just became something they’d lord over me with... I don’t bother anymore. It connects to me that you mention passive acceptance, because that’s what has worked best for me in my explosive and easily offended family. I believe in debates, openly laying out ones opinion for the purpose of understanding or enrichment and PERHAPS to change the opinion of another, but not in arguments, which basically become flinging shit at each other without listening to the other’s side.
pc's, laptops...I guess I'll add my mac to that list. :p)
I grew up with similar experiences to Ollie. I married a narc, so there was always the I'm right and you're wrong dynamic. I was taught to apologize because it was always my fault (even when it wasn't). And because I was the oldest, I was responsible for correcting the situation. It was impossible to discuss anything unless I was in full agreement with the 'one who thought they held all the power.' And, TBH, I haven't thought about being an apologist in a philosophical way.
I've been studying the Ho'oponopono which is Hawaiian for 'to make right and the word contains 'to make right' twice, that means to make right. It's explained that to make right means to make right w/myself and others and/or to be in right relationship with myself and others AND the earth. (I prefer the second definition.) In recent training, I've learned to look at blame and shame in a very different way. This society is extremely skewed to shaming which is, imho, the most harmful emotional state in which we often reside and/or are invited to reside. That leads to one subconsciously acting out the need to defend and/or justify oneself instead of knowing that we are all entitled to stand firmly in our truth & inner knowing and doing it in a way that also allows for acceptance of differing opinions and agreeing to disagree. But this society is so dysfunctionally tribal and codependent, spending all their time running around the victim triangle that I think its going to take a good while before we get back to the more centering concepts of Covey's 7 Habits which is all about working toward synergy and win/win and even better finding a 3rd alternative.