seeing therapist
HI EVERYONE, WISH ME LUCK THAT THIS WORKS OUT FOR ME. I HAVE RESISTED THIS FOR TWO YEARS. I KEPT TELLING MYSELF WHAT CAN A THERAPIST DO FOR ME. I LOST MY DAUGHTER AND THAT LOSS AND PAIN WILL NEVER GO AWAY. I CAN STAR CRYING WHEN JACKIE POPS INTO MY HEAD AT ANY TIME, ANY WHERE. I STILL HAVE REGRETS AND MAYBE SHE CAN HELP WITH THAT. COMING TO TERMS WITH HER SUICIDE IS PROBABLY THE MOST DIFFICULT. DID I FAIL HER, I TOOK HER TO SO MANY DOCTORS AND HOSPITALS AND SHE HAD SO MANY TESTS AND NOTHING HELPED. WHEN HER NEUROLOGIST DIAGNOSED HER WITH "NEW DAILY PERSISTENT HEADACHE" (NDPH), AND STARTED A NEW REGIMENT OF MEDS AND NERVE BLOCKS WE WERE SO HOPEFUL. NOTHING HELPED. SHE WENT DOWNHILL AND STARTED GETTING MORE DEPRESSED ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE HAD TO STOP WORKING AND GO ON DISABILITY. I TRIED SO HARD TO KEEP HER POSITIVE. KNOWING THAT YOUR CHILD DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE ANY MORE IS UNBEARABLE. HOW DO I GET THROUGH THAT. WHY COULDN'T SHE GIVE HERSELF MORE TIME. WHY COULDN'T I TALK HER INTO MORE TIME.
WELL, I DO HOPE THAT I GET SOMETHING OUT OF THESE SESSIONS. I NEED TO START ACCEPTING JACKIE'S DEATH FOR MY FAMILY. I REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT ME.
WELL, I DO HOPE THAT I GET SOMETHING OUT OF THESE SESSIONS. I NEED TO START ACCEPTING JACKIE'S DEATH FOR MY FAMILY. I REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT ME.
Replies
I think that it cannot hurt to see the therapist. And I pray that you are able to gain something from the sessions. I do understand your hesitancy due to wondering what they can possibly do for you. However, I have learned that I cannot achieve anything if I do not take a step towards a goal. Right step or wrong step, any step is better than none at all. You are in my prayers.
Peace.
I found counseling to be helpful, I hope you do also. Take care. Sue xo
I am sending positive love energy to you my precious friend in hopes and belief that you will find speaking with a therapist helpful. There are MANY tools available for us and professional counseling is often one of the best. I\'m very proud of your courage and determination and willingness to seek that which can bring comfort to your heart.
WE will care about YOU until you find yourself able to care about you again~~
How do we \"accept\" the deaths of our daughters? I think what we \"accept\" is that there was a factor in their deaths (both our daughters chose the same method, remember) that is so beyond the healthy mind, and that acceptance as helped me to know that I cannot understand, because I am not mentally ill. What we strive to \"accept\" (because it is FACT) is that WE were not in control, are not of our own lives even now, actually; that WE \"did\" or \"did not do\" something to cause it. This is the greatest acceptance and the hardest. It takes time and the guidance of a mental health professional you trust, who comes to know your story and to know you and, through you, your daughter. Without my grief counselor and certain medications (most of which I no longer take), I would not have been able to arrive at this statement: I DID NOTHING but love and help - I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE. I finally know and believe this. You will get there. I\'m standing in your shoes, our loss is equally horrific and life changing. I know what\'s in your heart and mind because I live with it every day. You are now taking care of YOU, that\'s a place to start. Always know you can message me any time and I know very well that this help you have sought out is a positive step and will prove itself as having been worth the effort. I congratulate you.
I pray you find the help needed from the therapist... love ya!
I found therapy helpful,hoping you will too!
Love and Hugs
Doris
I also went to a therapist...initially it was just a place to cry ( my husband got sooo upset that I didn\'t cry at home) ...but over time she helped me put things into a perspective I could not do alone.
Prayers for you, dear SOTH
MaryLou...Jenns mom
I cried for the first couple of years in the therapist...I still tear up at times. I started going to her a month before I joined this site. I am still going twice a month and still find it helpful. I hope you find someone you are comfortable with. I didn\'t like my first one so I kept on looking. Fortunately I found Peggy on the next try. Peace and love, Connie
So hopeful that this is a fit for you and if it is not keep seeking. For me, what a therapist is able to do is to hear me and reframe things that offer a perspective that perhaps I had never thought about...
We all need people in our lives who are a heart with ears and wherever we can find them I say seek it out as you are. I still go for a \"tune up\" when I\'m feeling funky and need some redirection and never do I leave feeling worse yet always lighter.
Please let us know how this unfolds for you dear friend and sending lots of continued healing hugs and love.
XO Joanie
I don\'t think there\'s any downside to going to a therapist - if it doesn\'t work for you, you can always stop or try some-one else. I always repeat myself on this site because I\'m not very eloquent - but I think guilt goes along with the terrority of losing your child no matter what. You were a wonderful mother who loved her daughter and did everything possible to save her - but sometimes saving our children is beyond any of us. Good luck with the therapist and take care ~ Joanna x
Hoping your therapist helps Gail. You are looking for help to relieve some of your deep sorrow and I think it will happen.
Tight hugs,
Terry
Gail. I found grief therapy to be helpful. My grief counselor Kate taught me to embrace the signs & to see things from a different perspective. I wish the same for you..that the counseling can be helpful to you. Love to you and Jackie, Linda
I saw a therapist for a couple of years after Cara died... than I quit... It didn\'t seem to help a lot. It seemed like I went further down into the depression. I am thankful though... I have reached a place where I think I can work on living this life again. For the last year I have started going to a therapist again. I have in at least some part reached the place where I am learning to live (from mummar\'s journal a few weeks ago... something her son\'s fiance wrote about) with love and loss side by side... I am not okay that Cara died... I am more grateful that she lived though than grieved that she died... had she never lived... oh that is a grief I don\'t want to imagine... It takes a small slice of forever to get to this point... and any point I have reached is subject to being turned around and having to find my way again and again... Praying for you that you will be comforted. Hugs Elissa