Outside the comfort zone

So I went on this date on Saturday.  It was a concert at a winery and there was overnight camping.  I had only  been out to coffee with this guy once although we have been talking on the phone every day for like 2 weeks.  I am only guessing at this point that that was a big part of the anxiety I was having last week. 

It was definitely outside of my comfort zone.  After years of living with an alcoholic the idea of going to a winery was not exactly high on my list.  It turned out to be a really good trip though.  There was a nice breeze and many people brought their whole families and were laying on blankets listening to the concert.  They had made a camping area and this guy that I went with is part of a single parenting group that he met on meetup and has been hanging out with for quite a while.  One of the group members actually works at this winery so we had kind of a vip camping area.  The band was really good little local band and did cover songs so everyone was dancing all evening.  That is the most exercise I got in a while and I am sore now.  After the concert was over they built a little bonfire and two of the guys from the bands came over with guitars and just played and had everyone sing along.  For an old lady that is usually in bed by 9pm...it was suddenly after midnight and this guy was all proud of himself for keeping me up past my bedtime and we laughed about it.  I laughed so much that my face hurt.  We finally laid down to sleep at like 1am and I actually slept til 730 the next morning which is also unusual for me. 

In the morning the place did a little pancake breakfast that was really good.  I had a little sadness as I thought about Steve.  Whenever we would do things like that he would get up early and make sure to find and bring me coffee.  He was always doing little stuff like that.  I always said I really liked that sober guy...it was the other side I really didn't like.  It can't be changed...I gave it 15 years and no matter how much I loved him, it was never going to change.  My girlfriends say it will be fine..just gotta train a new guy..ha ha...but that was the great part..he always did those little things without being asked so those were the times that I felt really loved.

I'm really glad that I went ...it was good to just go out and have fun.