Monday-weekend recap
I was super worried about this weekend before it began. The previous weekend I was so bad an could not stop crying and wanted to die. This weekend turned out to be much better, though.
What is this about? Is it brain chemistry? Is it hormonal? Is it because I was busy and didn't have as much time alone? I have no idea and it is so frustrating. I really wish there was more research in this area. We tend to just throw medications at these things and call it good instead of really finding out what this is all about.
Saturday I drove to the mall and got some much needed makeup. I haven't worn lipstick in 15 years since Steve hated it and refused to kiss me if I wore any. So, I bought myself some liptsick on Saturday.
My new theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msXTkuC4u6g
Sunday I got to go to breakfast with a friend and then hiking down by the river. It was really nice to get out. I pretty much blew off every responsibility and chore this weekend
I'm going to see my mom at the end of this week. I can't wait.
Replies
Good for you. Sounds like you are flexing your individual "muscles". I am proud of you. Hang in there, I always said you can do this. I know there will be times of worry and stress but, just keep looking forward to what can be and keep walking. Taking a good walk or hike is a good stress reliever. You can change yesterday, tomorrow isn't here yet so, enjoy today. I am here any time you need me.
I meant "can't change yesterday. My typing skills suck sometimes. LOL!!!!!!!
I am so happy for you in the fact that you bought make up, did what made you happy, and went out! Go you !!! Whoever this Steve man is...sounds like he sucks. Who the hell doesn't appreciate a lady in lipstick? Ugh. But I know you have been struggling with gaining a sense of self and you know what ? You are doing a phenomenal job. I hope you give yourself credit.
Zen and the Art if Motorcycle Maintenance my young friend, and The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck are both excellent reads to provide inward distraction. Blessings....