Monday Musings

For the first time in a really long time I was actually happy to be by myself.  I spent the entire weekend alone with Remi and the kitties and had no anxiety attacks at all. 

I watched a lot of shows I had been meaning to catch up on and started a knitting project; a baby blanket for my friend.  Instead of the weekend being long and horribly lonely, it went by in a flash. 

I slept in both days and it was very relaxing.  It was beautiful outside though and my only regret is that I didn’t find something to do outside …but…I am leaving for San Diego for the weekend on Thurs so I will be outside then. 

I’m not going to say it will remain that way but not going to look at it too closely and just accept it for what it is.  I still very tired and went on another round of meds to clear this first outbreak. 

I am still leaning more and more toward moving down there and being with my mom.  Giving myself time to think about it...I still need to separate insurances with the ex and don’t want to really try moving during the holidays anyway.  If I decide to go, I will shoot for the beginning of the year.  Still, each weekend that the few friends I have here are too busy with their own lives to hang out reinforces the desire to go.  It’s not an upset thing.  I get that they have kids and spouses.  They will still be my friends no matter where I live.  My other two girlfriends that I have known for years that I met in AZ reminded me of that.  One still lives in AZ and another in Idaho..but we are planning a mini vacation after the first of the year to catch up.  More lessons …keep absorbing.

Happy Monday