Losing it again!

I'm about to lose it!  Right when things start to go well something always comes up and fucks it up!  I got a letter from social security saying that the state I live in will no longer pay towards my medicare.  So, instead social security is going to take that money out of my monthly check and leave me not enough to pay any of my bills!  And then to make it better, when I told my mom that, who is out of town, she said she will have to work more and can't retire so she can support me more.  I have to be taken care of like a fucking child again.  I'm trying so hard to keep it together.  Those that already have suicidal thoughts and those that are a burden to their families dont mix well.  What the hell am I going to do? Try and get a job that I know I can't keep, and get fired again!  I can't deal with this bullshit anymore.  I'm trying to hold on to some hope that this can be fixed.  But what if it can't? This could be my death sentence!  I'm already in credit card debt and now it's only going to get worse.  I now have to most likely cancel my upcoming dr appts, that I need, and not see my therapist anymore.  Damn it!