I'm done
I'm having insurance issues and now my opthalmologist said I have macular degeneration and I'm going to eventually go fucking blind in my left eye! I've suffered my whole adult life with my mental illness and this bullshit. My thoughts are racing and my depression, that really starting to build now, is mixed with all out anger! Normally I would make an appt with my psychiatrist, but whats the point? Let the darkness come, I tired of fighting it anyway. Nobody can tell it's going to get better this time. I'm so fucking done.
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Sending peace to you Mich. Life can be cruel.
I hope you can find some glimmer of beauty or light or purpose to focus on.
You sharing your pain, is helping me with mine. I hope you can feel the commonality
and comaradery
you are inspiring, by my note to you. I wish life had served up better 'cards' for me
and you. This moment though is keeping me going. My sister said to me once "life is about
'moments'" Here's to good moments! Peace Mich.
I'm so sorry that you've received additional bad news, on top of what you were already facing. My heart hurts for you, and I'm very concerned.
Most would agree that you have been dealt a difficult hand of cards. No one should have to experience what you deal with every day. You are an inspiration in how you live, in spite of all of the obstacles that have been put in your path. Here is yet another stumbling block that has been placed in your way, and it's unfair.
I know that you have more pain and frustration than you can cope with right now. That said, I would encourage you to try to slow your thoughts by focusing only on the here and now -- not tomorrow, next week, or the big picture. Right at this moment, you know that you are feeling depressed, angry, and overwhelmed, and that it is wise for you to contact your psychiatrist. Please do that, and also tell your family how you are feeling.
In the time that I've known you, I've learned that you are a fighter. I realize that you're understandably tired of the battle, but please don't give up. I want you and your friendship to be a part of my life in the years to come.
I'm always here if you need someone to listen. Hugs.