I wish I could understand
I am in so much pain! It has been 3 weeks today since I have spoke to my beautiful Marissa.4:59 PM to be exact. I just cannot understand why God chose to take my baby at 18 and let the criminal in the car walk away! I feel like I'm drowning and will never come out of this normal. I am praying for strength so that I can be a mother to Elizabeth and a wife to my wonderful husband. I keep seeing Marissa's face today and remembering what she was wearing the last time I saw her and that if her and Hanna could have just listened to me and went home when I suggested she would still be here with me! I love her soooo much and miss her with every part of me. My broken heart will never mend. Ever.
Replies
We all so understand the stabbing pain of raw grief. I also remember saying to myself that I needed to be there for others...but the truth was that I was just a shell of my former self...I felt that I had nothing to offer them...perhaps I didn\'t. Looking back I wish I had allowed myself to grieve...I feared that if I once started, I would never stop...It felt like I was imploding...
I know know that it is ok to allow my feelings to wash over me...in fact, it gave some relief to allow myself to do this.
Please know that we all are here for you...
Gentle care,
AnnM
Glad you found your way here...
(((((GIANT UNDERSTANDING HEARTFELT HUGS)))))
AnnM
I so understand and hope you feel the love surrounding you on this journey. Peace, kathy
Oh how I remember those exact words and feelings... my heart breaks for you...we are here to help,,, and we have all been where you are today... peace to your heart.... Nora
Your so right, the hurting stabbing pain that pierces the heart seems you can never take another breath. As with you, the whys are asked over and over cause none of this horrible life we know face seems too unreal. I wish the words I\'m sorry could take the pain away. Even though it does not change the pain I am very sorry. I found this group after I lost my son. The women in this group have been with me through each step. There is so much support here and it is okay to say what you feel, we all understand.
I too remember that stabbing pain, breathlessness and fear. Keep the lines of communication open with your husband and Elizabeth as you will all grieve different and it really does help to talk to each other. I never in a million years thought I could ever smile and be happy again but it does happen with time. Things are different and will never be the same. We are all here to guide you through this horrible journey. Sending prayers and tight (((hugs))). xoxo Sharon
I SO understand and am very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Pour out all the pain here and you will have many arms around you. Do what you need to do when you are ready. One moment at a time.
Love, prayers, and hugs, Sharon
Understanding the intense anguish, sorrow and pain... Just keep holding on and feeling it all and knowing that you can come here and feel surrounded by others who are walking this path with you. Some a few steps ahead who help to shine the light for us, some side by side and others not knowing that one day they will have a need for us.
Only do what you can and know that it is enough. The amount of energy that is expended takes everything that one has and sometimes just being with one another in the silence is the healing.
Warm hugs to enfold you and knowing that even though you feel so alone on this lonely path there are others companioning you. Grab a hand...
Loving care and so terribly sorry about your beautiful Marissa.
XO Joanie
The pain is terrible there\'s no way to take it away it\'s a hole in your heart it will be there forever but they\'re also in your heart and your mind and your memories my daughter\'s been gone for 10 years and IHurt as much as evermy prayers and thoughts are with you
Welcome to For Moms Only: i LOST MY DAUGHTER TO , EVERYBODY ON THIS SITE HAS LOST A CHILD WE ALL KNOW YOUR PAIN , AND THE EMPTYNESS , GUILT, TURMOIL YOU ARE GOING THROUGH... PLEASE STICK WITH fOR MOMS ONLY. YOU CAN TALK WITH MOMS WHO UNDERSTAND. BLESS YOUR ANGEL HUGS MARY ANN
I am so very sorry about the loss of Marissa. She is beautiful. I also lost my son, Jackson, in a car accident when he was 17. It doesn\'t make sense and won\'t ever make sense. There is going to be so much pain, but this group of Moms has helped me a lot and I hope it will do so for you, too. Tough times ahead, so take the love and support of everyone here. Hugs, Laura
hugs to you
I remember being surprised to know that sorrow causes physical pain...my heart hurt. I am so very sorry about your daughter...it is so hard to lose a precious child. I lost my 22 year old son almost 7 1/2 years ago...and found the moms here shortly after. It really helps to talk to other moms that know this pain. Love and gentle hugs...Karen
So sorry to hear about your terrible loss. Losing a kid is the worst pain in the world. I know. My son, Jacob, is gone 5 years on March 1st. This is the right place to come for help and understanding. We really know what you are going through..and we have our arms around you. Abby
I hear you. I understand. These first weeks and months - so shocking. Just get through the day, one day at a time. Marissa is around you - watch for her. Patti