I used to love weekends....
Weekends used to be such fun. Going places, visiting his family, Even grocery shopping together, buying things to make dinners since dinners during the week were usually just grabbing things. Now they just drag. I'm still glad to have time off from work - I just wish I was enjoying it more. I took all of his things from the kitchen today and put them in boxes. He didn't have much but I wanted to be sure it all went with him. The last thing I need is to run across anything and have to contact him to see if he wants it. I refuse to pack his clothes or move things in the basement to make it easier for him to get things out of there. He deserves to have to work a little. But in the other rooms I wanted to make sure he took what was his and only that. So I went through the living room, bathrooms, and kitchen to get his stuff out. His sons made him picture mugs and I wanted all those gone. Today is his youngest son's birthday - 16 today. I sent him a text saying happy birthday. I was glad when he responded with thanks since I wasn't sure what the ex has said to him. I'm feeling bone tired lately. No energy. No interest in much. I know that's depression. Next week are some activities I've been waiting for - the divorce group at a local church starts. And a board game night. I'm planning on going to both. I hate going into this time of year where it's starting to get dark so early here. I'm not fond of going to new places at night but I know to help cope I need to get out with people. Just rambling today - these journals really help. Hopefully they show that those of us on the receiving end of a relationship ending go through the same things. Being scared, hurt, numb, betrayed, depressed, sad, feeling like your world turned upside down, and wondering what to do now. But we are all stronger than we think and we do what we have to . Whether it takes a month, a year, or more - we will get through it and it will be better because they don't deserve us now. They chose to leave instead of working on making things better. They found others , which probably won't last, but they went for another relationship where they didn't have to make any effort. Down the road when we are getting better, they will be regretting their decisions. At least that's how I hope it works.
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You'll learn to love weekends again, it really takes time. I used to DREAD them. Youre doing great with the activities. I'm 2 1/2 years out of a 24 year marriage where she dumped me for someone else and they still live together so no they don't always end but I've learned not to give a shit. Over time you will detach I'm light years ahead where I was the early days were horrible. Now I've accepted it's over and living my life and quite frankly finally enjoying my freedom and less stress and not having to cover her bills and overdraft charges lol. Just give it time
Thank you. I was divorced 18 years ago and went through almost the same things I am now - except I was younger and my career was building. I was able to lose myself in work then. Now I am thinking of retiring and all the plans are gone. I need to come up with new plans in case I am alone the rest of my life. Not to be dramatic, but it could happen. I'm always glad to hear when people say how much better they are doing after a few months and years. I live for that!!
Yes it will get better. I'm nine months out now and really enjoy the weekends. Shopping, cooking, yard work. Yes fall is definitely coming with the shorter days. Dark by 8:00 here now. Good that you're able to pack things up without him there. I feel the same way you do about retirement. Not sure what it will bring. I know I do want to go somewhere warm for the winters.
Hugs, my friend. I used to hate weekends so much that I found a part time job working 7 days a week. Now here I am 9 years later and loving it. As you know it will time and energy. Learning to love and accept yourself is very important. Take as much "Me" time as you need. I am alone but not lonely. You are right about taking all his things and putting them in boxes for him to take. But remember, you do not owe him anything. When you see him, smile, turn around and walk away. And do not slam that door, I know how tempting that can be, but gently close it and lock it. Change all the locks on the house. Hugs from Canada
I remember the first weekend I didn't have the kids. It was the first time since I had bought the house (12 years) that I slept in the house alone. In fact, I had rarely been in the house alone period. It was so desolate. But, as cliched as it is, time heals. On weekend at a time.
We have all had different circumstances and situations. relatives etc, but we've all shared that pain... I guess I have empathy for anyone experiencing that.... I didn't know such agony existed and I'd been lucky that I had 35 years with someone pretty much trouble free (or so I had thought lol)