I thought I might make it through one day...
I had a Day of Service for United Way today. Volunteering for a good cause. Getting my mind on something else. Then I checked email at lunch and got an email from his mother saying she was thinking of me. It all came rushing back. Bought a tv today since he's taking the one in the living room. His mother gave it to us so technically it's his. He claims she would want him to have it. I'm not so sure since she always liked me. But I'm not arguing about it. Anything I paid for - I'm keeping. Now that he is coming to get the rest of his stuff I am trying not to be emotional. Originally I was going to let him take whatever. But now that I had to buy a new TV - I'm a little more practical. Plus since I had to put my bedroom furniture in the basement so he could put his in the bedroom - I'm going to see if he will use his movers to bring my stuff upstairs after they take his out. Is that too much to ask?
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I would think that the movers could do that fairly quickly. When I left the joint house, I only took what was mine. I let her have any of the joint purchases that she wanted. We never got caught up fighting about household items. I can make due without or buy new.
Great that you're volenterring. Please keep busy. It does get better.
Thank you. Waiting for that day.
I'm sorry your going through this. I been divorced, twice, you do get through it, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This feeling will pass too. Stay busy, it'll get better.
Ask the movers if they can do it. Even if you have to pay them a couple of dollars each, do it. But do not engage him. Do not say anything to him. If he does talk to you, just smile and nod your head. Then turn around and walk away. Head held up high, giggling like a school girl. But when he is gone you can cry, scream or holler as loud as you please. I just stared at the ex and he could not look at me. Yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, run for it. Then get a nice comfortable chair, sit down and watch a train wreck of his own making. Hugs.
Atpeacemary has good advice..don't engage him. Just get him in and out quickly. Can someone be there with you?
I'm not going to be there - I can't do it. But you are right, staying away from him is best. I just learned he took his new fiance to see his high school prep school. That's his go to place to impress women, I think. Letting us know he went away to a fancy prep school. Knowing they are going to the same places he took me drives me crazy. Not that he wouldn't go there. I don't know - it just hurt finding that out. Him showing her all his favorite places like he showed me. It's stupid - I'm just feeling down today.
The "move out" is bittersweet. On the one hand, I was relieved the real separation had finally started as living with him knowing he had an affair partner was hell. But, it was also very literal evidence the marriage was over and I was devastated. So glad you won't be there. Absolutely the best thing.
I completely get how sad it is thinking of them together. Sending you all my best vibes.
How are you learning what he's doing with his new fiancé? You should stop finding of his going ons with her, it'll set you back.