holidays & loss
Easter sort of loss appeal to me in 1989. My dad postponed open heart surgery to spend Easter with my brother, my nephew, my son and me. He died 2 days later. I know in my heart my dad knew he was going to die. He made amends with my brother because he needed to do that, and knew my brother would struggle if he passed with all that anger between them. He knew it was the last holiday he would see any of us. He got all his affairs in order and put out all the documents my step mom would need. He knew he was going to die and his choice was to spend time with us.
Easter is early this year and it's just 2 weeks after the 12 angelversary for Randy Lee. We've had numerous passings related to work in the past month. I just can't seem to get past all of this sadness ... the ache that doesn't want to leave.
My family is celebrating Easter tomorrow, Saturday so my brother and nephew can be there. We're all gathering at my brother's house for dinner. Christmas this past year was the first family get together I've participated in since Randy Lee passed. All the holiday get together, the dinners, the celebrations were always at my house. I never felt like celebrating after Randy Lee died and that included being around others who did. I worked .... I worked a lot... I buried myself in work to avoid feeling anything. This year ... we went. It wasn't bad ... it was okay. We did talk about Randy Lee and silly things he always did. It may be hard to understand but that was nice.
I know tomorrow will be fine. I know it will be nice and I also know we'll end up talking about and remembering Randy Lee. He was such a big part of our life ... you can't stop loving a person simply because they've passed away. Remembering them, talking about them during your gatherings ... at least to me ... is loving, warm and a good thing. Our love for him is still very much alive.
It's been a rough year these few short months. A lot of things to deal with. A lot of things that make you go "hmmmmm" and wondering what life really is.
I want to wish everyone a Happy Easter and may each of you be blessed with a sign from your loved one to show you that they are always with you. (((hugs)))
Easter is early this year and it's just 2 weeks after the 12 angelversary for Randy Lee. We've had numerous passings related to work in the past month. I just can't seem to get past all of this sadness ... the ache that doesn't want to leave.
My family is celebrating Easter tomorrow, Saturday so my brother and nephew can be there. We're all gathering at my brother's house for dinner. Christmas this past year was the first family get together I've participated in since Randy Lee passed. All the holiday get together, the dinners, the celebrations were always at my house. I never felt like celebrating after Randy Lee died and that included being around others who did. I worked .... I worked a lot... I buried myself in work to avoid feeling anything. This year ... we went. It wasn't bad ... it was okay. We did talk about Randy Lee and silly things he always did. It may be hard to understand but that was nice.
I know tomorrow will be fine. I know it will be nice and I also know we'll end up talking about and remembering Randy Lee. He was such a big part of our life ... you can't stop loving a person simply because they've passed away. Remembering them, talking about them during your gatherings ... at least to me ... is loving, warm and a good thing. Our love for him is still very much alive.
It's been a rough year these few short months. A lot of things to deal with. A lot of things that make you go "hmmmmm" and wondering what life really is.
I want to wish everyone a Happy Easter and may each of you be blessed with a sign from your loved one to show you that they are always with you. (((hugs)))
Replies
Thank You. I hope you feel blessed by the day with your family.
I hope the nice feeling of being able to remember Randy Lee with your family will carry you through the Easter holiday.
Gentle hugs,
Debbie
I\'m glad you are able to spend time with your family and all remember loving times with Randy Lee - keeping him alive in memory. He is always with you. Your father sounded like a good man, thinking of his family first and leaving no unfinished business behind him. Love and strength. I hope your Easter was a kind one for you. Joanna x