Happy Birthday in Heaven

Today is my son's 32rd birthday, his 14th in heaven. I always try to celebrate his birthday because it's still his birth day, he still matters to me and he is still a party of my life.   

This yaa i asked friends and family who knew Randy Lee or who life has been touched by his storyx to pay it forward in his honor. I was overwhelmed with the out pouring of love from everyone. So many good things being done in his memory.  It made me smile. 

My smile was because,  as a mom my biggest fear of my child's memory is he will be forgotten.  Also because he wanted his story to help others and it has. From challenging 110 middle school students to pay it forward in his honor to feeding local homeless pets to paying for meals to coming to the aid of a stranger during a health crisis to paying fir a pizza fir someone stuck at work. The list goes on and on. 

For me, it was a sign,  a message i needed so very much.  I didn't get to hug him,  or kiss him but i celebrated his life. I got to recall some good memories and feel a sense of peace that he hears me when i still talk to him. A peaceful feeling. 

It's been a really rough year but tonight,  right now ... im seeking okay.  I'll take it.  Happy Birthday Randy Lee - I'll love you forever,  I'll like you for always,  as long as in living,  my baby you'll be.