Facebook

I suppose I have been depending on Facebook too much when I am needing to pour my heart out. I am scaring my mother and I should come here instread where people understand. She worries incessantly, yet I have a hard time understanding how she doesn't see the hypocrisy in it. She is afraid I will either kill myself or somehow grieve myself to death. I understand the loss of a child, in a terrible, horrible way...yet she tries to tell me Cassi is still here with me and I should, in so many words "cheer up". I have not said this to her yet, but I want to ask if that would be a comfort to her if something happened to me???
As much as she loves me and worries about me, she just doesn't understand. How could she??? Or anyone that hasn't experienced it???
Facebook isn't always good for me anyway. I see photos of big, happy families...everyone posts the best pictures of the happiest times and it makes me feel even more alone, unhappy. My daughter is all I think about, so all my posts are of her and therefor of her absence...my family and "friends" just don't understand.
Other grieving moms, later on in the journey, promise it will get better. It has been a year and a half...I know I am still relatively new to this, and I do have moments of clarity, peace...maybe even rare glimpses of happiness, but, ohmygoodness, the pain, loneliness, hopelessness are still so strong and ever present. Thank you SOTHS, for always being here, offering encouragement and true understanding. At lease I have our retreat to look forward to, right???