Anxiety

I have noticed that I have not been able to journal lately..I login and would be ready to put something down but the words would not come out and then I would get distracted by the day and weeks have gone by and nothing.

This morning it kind of dawned on me that a lot of it may have to do with my anxiety being not so bad.... or maybe it had just changed.  I have had this new thing where I start to drift off to sleep and wake suddenly in a panic.  Last night was really bad and I think I was up half the night.

Today though...this is the old anxiety I was used to...cold, shaking, nauseated, tingling in my arms and tightness in my chest.  Although I know this has been a horrible cold and flu season I don't really feel worried that I am getting sick...I feel like this is the same old frenemy that I have lived with for years...  I have often said that when it's just the shaking and nausea I was not sure but when the tingling starts in my arms and chest...that is a dead giveaway....either that or I'm going to have a heart attack...blaaa haaaa haaa

I have no idea what brought this out today.  I haven't had this level of anxiety in quite a while.  Part of me just wants to curl up in a ball until it passes but the other part knows that if I just ignore and keep moving it will pass faster. 

I've pretty much decided to move to San Diego.  There is nothing for me here.  In the meantime I have been keeping busy..dating a lot..mostly first dates..not usually any second ones...this world is so full of idiots it is amazing. 

I find that if I stay busy enough I feel ok being alone.  Hope this Monday goes by quickly...or at least the nausea fades soon...ugh!