That is really weird. You went on vacation with him too?

Yes, 3 nights in the woods

Did you ever go to his place?

Wow. Mine said the same about being in no hurry and NEVER pushed for sex. But we did have sex. I think they do this because they KNOW that once they're that involved, they're gonna run. They're trying to put it off. Once we had sex, mine said that our physical connection was so intense that it brought about emotions that were really powerful and that he wanted to slow down and "not jump in bed" again with me. There were several times that he turned down sex though, even when he was clearly turned on and we were making out and really into it. So strange. I was always so amazed at his self control. But now I see it's fear. And it's really sad.

Fear or not, it's not my job to deal with it. But yes, I coudl see how it might be that, Agent.

Belle, no - I never went to his place. If it wasn't for the fact that I got so close to his daughter who lives with him part time and for the fact that he and I talked on teh phone for hours almost every night - I would have ventured that he had someone else.

What was the reason that you never went to his place? Would he stay overnight at your place? This truly sounds like the issues were his! My opinion is that a man will want to do the deed with you regardless if he thinks there is a future or not. Especially after a few weeks of dating! Three months and nothing - What is up with that? It's my opinion that even the most healthiest relationships will be consummated within the first 2 months if you are seriously dating.....I need more details....

It was just more convenient to come to my place. I have a 5 year old son who needed to be in bed at 8pm, I have full custody. He only has his daughter part time. He works later than I do so I'd go home, get my son at school and then he'd come join us.

Details - go to my previous threads. It's all there. I got on about a week ago

Some men (and not just commitment phobes) don't want to jump into sex right away because they want it to be more than just a "lay." My first date with my X was three days in a shack in the woods and believe it or not we didn't have sex either (although yes there was heavy petting). At the time I was completely gobsmacked, although he'd said we didn't know each other well enough. Now I actually think he was being honest. We didn't have sex till about three months in. (Epilogue: the sex didn't "solve" anything -- if anything it made his ambiguity or fear or whatever you want to call it worse.)

My girlfriend's and I used to have a saying back when we lived in NYC and were dating machines - If you've been dating for 2 weeks and you haven't seen his place he's either married, has a live-in GF or living with his parents. I have an ex BF who I met at work. We worked together, he stayed at my place often and we had a vacation booked together. He just wouldn't let me see his apartment for weeks. He had every excuse in the universe for this including a dying step-father who had Cancer!!! When I started making it an everyday topic because nothing seemed to add up guess who he said had ISSUES and needed THERAPY? ME!! Turns out he was a pathological liar - there was no step-father, no cancer and there was a GIRLFRIEND who was living with him for the past 6 years!!! I am not saying your situation is like mine because you have met his daughter but after reading through your situation it seems to me that he is the one with the issues here. The no sex is rather odd....

Agreed with what AgentSmith said -- that it's ultimately just sad. Their fear won't let them share a beautiful experience with someone else. (And screws up that other person in the process.)

Its an interesting aspect of ur story. I would have liked it as long as I felt like he was into me. I would have imagined that he was timid and I was a sexual goddess. It would have been a great head trip for me. I was with a guy for two years and for the first year he only performed oral sex on me. This was the ex before the current ex. He never pushed the issue and later on I figured out he had erectile dysfunction. So much for my sexual goddess fantasy.

lol.
I know he was into me. He was definately into me. No dysfunction whatsoever. At least not Erectile.
Liek I said, we did everything else and we woudl both climax but there was no penetration. He woudl not even take off his boxers

Whoa. Interesting. I had something similar happen twice Belle and I think we know when there are red flags, we just want to ignore them. And similarily, it became 'my' issue. I had trust issues.
I find it odd that you didn't go to his place Miss but I also see the issue with childcare.
The three days away is odd that it had not progressed to that and furthermore that you were able to sleep in the same bed??? I'll say it again, whoa.
I think there are intimacy issues period. Major ones.

yes, Creo. They are all surfacing now.
His father took off when he was a teenager. Never saw him again. He has issues with his mother who favored his older brother. His ex wife was abusive (he says) and his most recent ex cheated on him.
Issues you think?
I mean I got issues...no doubt. Put his issues in teh mix, I didn't stand a freaken chance, bottom line.

We have all had some rotten things happen to us but it's no excuse to treat our next partner like an asshat. Did you try talking to him about the non-sex and about him pulling away?