Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I have constant mind chatter which I would love to get rid of….it drives me nuts!
All the time Im hearing things in my head….
'why is he doing that?!'
"is he doing that because I haven't been good enough?"
"Who is he texting"
"did he do this with HER?"
"how does this look to other people?"
"how SHOULD i behave or respond to that?"
" am i being a good wife?"
"why did I snap at him like that?"
"is he bored, he seems to be cooling off, shall I fake it?!" (during sex!)
"am I too fat/old/wrinkly/tired?"
"what does he WANT me to say?"
"what would please him?"
"is he cross with me"
When my husband tells me Im amazing and he loves me - " he's only saying that because we have sex whenever he wants" or "he wouldn't if he knew what I was thinking"…"as long as I don't spend on the credit card though eh!"
Jeeez it drives me nuts….one day I hope to not have all this in my head.
I also have the old push pull thing going on….the..
"come on Jax you can do it…no you can't you're going to blow it…you can show them….you are going to mess up,better not to try….give it a go, why not?….
and on it goes.
I am in the process of working hard on my recovery but I don't know how to manage this mind-chatter - the constant commentary….
All the time Im hearing things in my head….
'why is he doing that?!'
"is he doing that because I haven't been good enough?"
"Who is he texting"
"did he do this with HER?"
"how does this look to other people?"
"how SHOULD i behave or respond to that?"
" am i being a good wife?"
"why did I snap at him like that?"
"is he bored, he seems to be cooling off, shall I fake it?!" (during sex!)
"am I too fat/old/wrinkly/tired?"
"what does he WANT me to say?"
"what would please him?"
"is he cross with me"
When my husband tells me Im amazing and he loves me - " he's only saying that because we have sex whenever he wants" or "he wouldn't if he knew what I was thinking"…"as long as I don't spend on the credit card though eh!"
Jeeez it drives me nuts….one day I hope to not have all this in my head.
I also have the old push pull thing going on….the..
"come on Jax you can do it…no you can't you're going to blow it…you can show them….you are going to mess up,better not to try….give it a go, why not?….
and on it goes.
I am in the process of working hard on my recovery but I don't know how to manage this mind-chatter - the constant commentary….
in fact it sounds like it would be harmful to try to get your husband to understand your rape. he has been incredibly invalidating toward your trauma!!!!
i'm so sorry that happened to you friend. that never should have happened. but please don't continue the abuse and shame another day. get help and heal that part of your life.......
this has nothing to do with your husband except that you are lying to him to please him and not stand up for yourself. you're right this is your issue...and we're here for you...
now what would you say to your girlfriend in your shoes??????
this is important so i'm pushing you a little bit....
What would I say to my girlfriend.
Hmmm.
I would say be honest with yourself and your husband and stop living in this way, be authentic.
Thing is - I don't know how to do that.!